Michael

This is a different Michael, I know it gets so confusing with these duplicate names! Michael and I hung out a lot. We only had sex twice but we use to hang out much more frequently than that. For weeks I would go over to his house or I would pick Michael up on Wednesdays. We would just hang out and talk. Maybe go to the park and sit on a park bench and make out. Or sit on the pier at Port Charlotte beach. I don't know what we were doing at all. Sometimes he would buy me fast food for lunch. Neither of us had a lot of money so we were very frugal. I guess we both just wanted someone else to hang out with. And he didn't make any moves to have sex with me until we had been hanging out for awhile honestly. He was unusual in that sense. Maybe he needed to know me better? David started making it more and more difficult for us to hang out and we just stopped. I was pretty sad about that because Michael was pretty cool and it was nice to have a friend just to do stuff with that easy going and chill.

Aftermath: Several months after we stopped hanging out I sent him a message just checking up on him and he was doing good. I haven't heard from him since.

I just received a message from him a couple days ago and we talked a bit. He's really a great person and I had almost forgotten why I had liked him so much. He's just so easy to talk to. And he had been through a lot of shit in his life by the time he was in his early 20s when I met him so he had a level of maturity that many other twentysomthings didn't have so I think that may have been another reason we got along so well. As much as I liked the younger men I did find that many did lack maturity and that is to be expected in that age group. I appreciated Michael's maturity for his young age. He'd been living on his own since his teens so life hadn't been easy for him but he managed. He had a good outlook though. 

Victor

 Victor was from Brazil ( another Brazilian! 😮) and was working out on Palm Island installing tile. He met me in the middle of the day at the parking lot for the boat ramp on the corner of the road that leads to Boca Grande. I knew a place to go on Boca and I had a toll card!!! So he got in my car and off we went. We drove a ways which gave us time to talk. He was really nice and he seemed sweet.

 I guess I've been fortunate. For the most part I have met some great guys! Plenty of really nice, normal guys that just want some sex or just want to mark sex with MILF off their bucket list. Or they like redheads. Or redheaded MILFs. Whatever. I'm the winner in every situation because I get to meet all these neat people. Good looking guys from all over the world. Lucky me. 😁 Men I never thought I could have. Because when I was younger I thought I was ugly and goofy and didn't know how to talk to people. And then I always had that " I have to be a good person" nonsense floating around in my head. Who was I trying to be good for? Oh yeah god. I spent too many years feeling guilt because I thought I wasn't good enough for a sky spirit that isn't even there! When you really think it through and put the pieces together from a logical perspective magic isn't real, guys. It never has. Now I know I can have a good heart for me. For myself. For my family. Because that's what matters. This life matters. Being good to people because it's the right thing to do. I don't have the guilt anymore because I'm not perfect enough. I'm me and that's okay. It's okay. Finally I have freedom to enjoy life. And not be ashamed of being flawed. 

So Victor and I parked the van at 14th St. where Michael had showed me before. And we had some very good sex. It was damn hot out there though. Then I brought Victor back and said goodbye. 

Aftermath: David blocked him on my Snapchat for some reason. So he couldn't reach me if he wanted to. 

Jan

 Oh Jan. I cannot forget him. He was from Czech Republic. Well, he was living in Sarasota. He came to the hotel and we had a lovely time. Well, he was a bit nervous at first but super sweet. If I had a golden trophy for the best kisser ever I would award it to Jan. We did a lot of kissing. And we did plenty more than just kiss. But I didn't want to stop kissing this boy. I could make out with Jan for an entire day. 

Aftermath: I followed him on Instagram and we messaged briefly. Small talk and I told him that he was the best kisser. He said I was a great kisser too. 😘

Dylan

 Dylan had dark hair. Little stockier than my usual guys. I'm trying to remember his face but I can't. He was a nice guy. Dylan was married though. His wife cheated on him and he wanted to even the score. That was the one and only reason that he came over. He offered the info. I never get into people's business. I hope that two wrongs made a right in this situation. 

Aftermath: Never heard from him again.

Michael

 By springtime 2017 I was living in a hotel with my husband and kids while we waited for our rental to be ready. I was working full time at The Pink Elephant on Boca Grande as a hostess and also attending group meetings for my court ordered mental health court and going to AA and NA meetings. I was on a year long probation. David was working out at Palm Island still I think. And every morning I took the boys to the bus stop by my dad's house to be bussed to their school in Englewood. Since we moved in with family partway through the school year we were considered homeless and the school actually bussed them all the way from Port Charlotte to Englewood so they wouldn't have to switch schools. The school system was very kind to us through all of our moves. They just wanted the kids to have some stability. 

Conveniently enough for me, Michael was staying with his family on Boca Grande. He was familiar with the island so one day before work I met him on one of the off streets that lead to the beach-14th St. There is a clearing in the trees on the left side. So we parked there and he got in my car. Michael was pretty hot and we had a good time. A++ for Michael. So we are sitting in the back seat resting and cooling off and I tell him that I have to head to work at The Pink Elephant after that. And he laughs because he's going to be going to eat there with his family in a little while! We get dressed and go our separate ways knowing we will meet again shortly.  

Maybe an hour into my shift he comes in with his family and I had to seat them pretending I never met this guy while I'm standing there with hickeys he put on me. Incredibly awkward. I had to go in the back and tell my coworkers about him, I just couldn't keep it to myself. But the general opinion among them was that he looked pretty good. When we chatted later he told me he felt as awkward as I did. Only he said he wanted to take me to the bathroom and do dirty things to me. 

Michael came back for another visit with his family on Boca later in the year and we met up again. We enjoyed laughing about the awkward situation from our first meeting. He was a reliable partner. I knew I was gonna get something good with him. And he looked delicious. He tried to hit me up a third time and David wouldn't let me go so I missed out on a third encounter. 

Aftermath: Lost touch. Never heard from him. I still have the IG message he last sent me but the account is gone.

Scott

 Scott was in his early 20s and super hot. Like the kind of hot that he could walk in a room and all girls would look at him hot. He could probably model hot. Scott was sexy. And I was really looking forward to him. I remember waiting for him standing outside of the hotel room leaning over the railing and seeing his car pull up. Yay! Watching him walk toward me. Yay! Little small talk and I was on that boy. I climbed right on him and did my thing. ooooh. But maybe I did it a little too well because five minutes later he was done. I was not done. 😒 Scott said, " I usually last longer. " and awkwardly left. Goodbye Scott.

Aftermath: Never heard from him.

Brian

I had to sneak Brian out of his family's house in Rotonda, well I had to park down the road in the dark while he snuck out. A grown ass man sneaking out of the house. He was really cute and nice. We went to Rotonda Park and got in the back seat. According to my notes the sex was good. So I must not be lying to myself. Brian was good. I remember trying to see him in the darkness and looking out my back window to back sure nobody was coming to the park. He was only visiting family in town. 

Aftermath: A year later I was working at The Lighthouse Grill I saw this younger guy come in with a bunch of middle aged people, the guy is wearing big dark sunglasses and a straw hat and super preppy clothes. I say to my coworker, " That guy look like a douchebag." As I walked by the table the guy is checking me out and smiling. And the older guy next to him, too.  Little weird, but guys check me out, so what. When I brought him his food the younger guy was definitely looking at me.  After work I get a Facebook message from Brian. It was him! Of course I didn't recognize him with the sunglasses on and last time I saw the guy it was in almost complete darkness soooo. But I still felt really foolish that I didn't recognize this guy I had sex with. I got his Snapchat and I sent him some pics and he sent me some pics for a few days and then we lost touch. He's still on my Snapchat.  I'm still wondering why the older guy at the restaurant was smiling too, did he tell his dad  about me? " Hey dad, I banged that server a year ago" "Good job son, love those busty redheads haha" 🤣🤣

Brendan

 By the end of February my dad had had enough of us apparently and kicked us out onto the street. I'm thankful for the six months we were allowed to stay there rent free, even though he made sure our stay was as unpleasant as possible. My dad just isn't a warm person. My grandmother is the most warmest loving person ever and I don't know she had a child like my dad. 

But my dad recruited Fonda and Jason to help move our stuff out. I'm grateful they were kinder to us than my dad was because that day I couldn't handle anymore animosity. All of the sudden we have to get out and we don't know where to go! Nothing like being kicked out onto the street by your own family. But I guess that's my family for you. David was able to find a low rate hotel in North Port for us to stay at for awhile. Thankfully we had our tax refund or we really would have been homeless. But I learned that when you live in a hotel you are actually considered "homeless". So I guess we were and I wouldn't be our last time. 

Brendan was staying with his grandparents at a mobile home park not far from the hotel. I planned to pick him up one day when everyone was at school and David at work. We were going to hang out in the room for a few hours and see what happens. Maybe watch a movie. lol. Brendan was Type I Diabetic so he had to bring over all his accucheck equipment to monitor his sugar. Thankfully he brought his own water because I didn't have any sugar free anything in the room. 

So Brendan was pretty cute but he was kinda hesitant, He went through with it anyway since he was already at the hotel room. He let me have sex with him. It was unusual in the sense that he had to remove his glucose pump beforehand. You know, I had wondered about that with diabetics. Now I know.  But he had checked his blood sugar first so I'm sure he knew he was okay.  Afterward he said he didn't want to do it again and I was fine with that. He seemed really uncomfortable and I'm not sure what had changed from when we were talking to when I actually brought him over. He was initially really looking forward to hanging out and now he was just wanting to go home. Maybe he was scared David would come home. I don't know. So I brought Brandon back to the mobile home park. I feel a bit bad about that one. Brendan seemed like a genuinely decent person and I think the entire situation made him uneasy. 

Aftermath: Never heard from him again. I hope he's doing well.  

Yoni

 By late February I was still living with my dad. That was soon about to change but I didn't know it yet. The tension in the house was ridiculous. I think everyone in that house was miserable. Maybe I was the least so, only since I was hardly there, between work, my group, court, probation check ins, AA and NA meetings and trying to meet guys. Maybe I was doing all I could to stay sane. David really was taking care of the kiddos though. I mean they are still alive and only two are currently in therapy. My dad, well, he was either working, at my moms, or drunk apparently. When he went to my moms he came home trashed. I always knew because he would get really, really quiet. Even if we were both in the kitchen he wouldn't say a word.  It was scary. And I knew how mad he was that I was in his house. He kept dropping hints about bringing Mamaw home and we thought he must be nuts to do that. I knew he was just hinting that he wanted us out. But we just didn't have anywhere to go yet! We had a house lined up and a down payment made but we still had to wait. And I told my dad that. We kept hoping he would let us stay just a little bit longer.....

So I had been talking to Yoni for awhile about meeting and we had both really been looking forward to it. We decided to meet in Punta Gorda downtown. Unfortunately the day came for us to meet and I was feeling rather depressed and hopeless for whatever reason. And then I went to the meeting place and he wasn't there. I was in a plaza in the evening all alone and I couldn't find who I was looking for. I remember thinking maybe I should just say "fuck it" and go home. I just wasn't in the right mind set. I ended up driving to a couple different places getting so damn frustrated. And he was getting lost because he wasn't familiar with the area. I ended up parking at Laishley Park and just told him I'd wait there and tried to give him directions. Thankfully he finally found me. 

He wanted to go somewhere for a drink first and Laishley Crab House was right nearby so we stopped in there. I think he was drinking whiskey or some hard liquor and I opted for a soda. I was a sober girl then, heck, I might as well be now. I still don't drink. We talked a bit, I was glad that he seemed very nice. We were making out by the time we got to the car. Yoni didn't waste time. He enjoyed kissing as much as I did and we did lots of it. We spent a total of five hours together in the back seat of my car. We would have crazy sex and then he would put his arm around me and I'd lean against him and we'd rest and talk and talk. 

Yoni was 25 years old and was from Israel. He had dark hair and dark eyes and was lovely to look at. He was actually married and had a couple kids back home.  But he had a business here. He goes to visit them. But I don't remember why he doesn't live there. He had been in the military. 

Anyway, He was fascinating. And when we were finished talking we would start kissing and then we would have sex again. And then rest some more and talk and talk. We did that three times. I could have spent the entire night with him. But my phone was blowing up and I knew I was in trouble. It was very, very late. Oh, but the night was so satisfying. 

When we had to get dressed he said, "Getting dressed is so sad!" And I felt that way too. I wanted to stay curled up in the backseat naked with Yoni. I was feeling like being a Tinder girl was so sad. Temporary connections are so sad.

Later I said, " Goodbye is so sad!" and he said " Not goodbye, until next time."

Aftermath: I follow Yoni on Instagram. I messaged him maybe a year ago, just a little small talk. He travels a lot and I kind of got the impression that perhaps I was one of many. Though he was one of many to me as well, I have encountered several men that were notable for me for whatever reason and he was one. 

Christopher

 One evening I was swiping through Tinder and I matched with 23 year old Christopher. He was in Naples so I figured my chances with him were slim. Too far away. But wait! He was willing to driving to South Punta Gorda. Hmmm. This might just work. Not too many guys were willing to drive that far for sex. 

Two hours later I met him behind the closed down supermarket ( I had forgotten how many men I had brought there!) He walked over to me and awkwardly introduced himself. He was Hispanic, originally from Honduras, and had these adorable dark brown curls. He was very cute but so shy. He was just so uncomfortable and awkward. Obviously I had to make all the first moves. I was getting used to it by now. But he got it going, just like riding a bike once you get started. 

But after we were finished he just kind of wandered off toward his car without even a goodbye.                  Awkward.

Aftermath: never heard from him again.

Brandon

 Brandon was 20 years old, He had blonde hair and a nice body and a big dick. I really don't remember much more about him. He was from Fort Myers so we met in South Punta Gorda and tried to go to the same closed down super market that Tom had showed me, that I had also brought Aras to. But this time there were cops cruising around and we didn't want any part of that. So we ended up in the far end of a Home Depot parking lot, that was open and fairly busy by the way. We parked our cars next to each other and he got in my back seat and went at it for maybe 10 minutes. It wasn't horrible for a quickie. Then Brandon got out and left. Never to be seen again. I usually would leave a message to all my guys afterward, thanking them and telling them I had fun. But before I had a chance to with Brandon- he had already unadded me from Snapchat. I wondered about that, he seemed cool. But I think goodbye cya later isn't Brandon's style. He got what he came for. 

Aftermath: never heard from Brandon again.

Harrison

 Harrison was 28 years old, he lived in Winter Haven but traveled with gun shows so when he was in Fort Myers he would show up on my Tinder. I don't think I was able to meet with him the first time he showed up on my Tinder but we kept talking and decided to meet when he was back in the area. I really liked him and thought we would have a good time. 

So we finally met, we had to just park in a dimly lit parking lot in Fort Myers and use the back seat. We had some great sex in that back seat though and Harrison was a great kisser. We stayed busy for a couple hours. At times having to open the back door because it got too hot in there. And he wanted to bend me over as well. It was probably past midnight at that point. We did lots of kissing and then he just held me. I didn't want to leave. I never turn down an opportunity to cuddle. We just enjoyed each other for hours and hours. And I had been having so many problems at home I was so starved for a man to hold me and just be kind to me . I just wanted to pretend that it would be okay. This wasn't the first time I enjoyed being held by a man and it wasn't going to be my last. I just wanted a man to be kind to me. I had hoped to see Harrison again but I never did.

Aftermath: Harrison and I continued to talk and send pictures for quite a while afterward until he said something pro-incest and it grossed me out and I just can't think the same way about him ever again. 

Mike

 Mike was in Bradenton. By this time I wasn't driving this far any more but I had been talking to Mike for awhile and we had been meaning to get together. So I went to his house. I remember actually feeling nervous with him. We talked for most of the time I was there and then as time was running out we went in and had a quickie. Not my favorite sex I  ever had. Mike wanted to make it a recurring thing but David threatened him for some reason and Mike told me to lose his number cause he didn't want to deal with the drama. 

Aftermath: never heard from him again

Cody

 I started taking to Cody one afternoon. He was going to get out of work in Sarasota and come right over to my house. Ok cool, I'll be waiting. I was nervous. I was going to sneak him into my dad's house and my dad was home. So I was going to have to hope that this guy's car goes unnoticed while he's here and I can get him in the door. I'm pacing the room waiting for the text that he's here. So finally I get the text, I go outside to meet him. I peek down the hallway to make sure my dad is occupied watching TV so I can let Cody in the door. I put my finger up to my lips so he knows to be quiet until we get to my bedroom. Cody has a security guard uniform on. He has dark hair and is pretty tall.

 He lays down on my bed. I get on top of him and start kissing him, he's kissing me. He was ready to go pretty quickly. He pulled down his pants to his knees. He didn't even get all the way undressed. I got started and moved around a bit and ---uh oh. He was done.  He looked sheepish and I was disappointed. He got up and got dressed and muttered something about "I'll text you." And I walked him to the door. 

Aftermath: He never texted me. I never heard from him ever again. 

Vlad

 I had attempted to meet Vlad one other time before but he didn't show up. But I gave him another chance. He was living out in the dorms on Boca Grand working at the Gasparilla Inn. Most of the people living at the dorms were from other countries here on special work visas but he lived in the states. He was born in Ukraine though. And he was a horrible alcoholic. I picked him up late, around 11PM and he brought a bottle of whiskey. He wanted to share but I was not a drinker. Sex with Vlad was really bad. Lots of sloppy, messy kissing and he had the most difficult time getting it up. Probably because he was drunk.  He finally was able to after a long time of unpleasant sloppy making out and he was done very quickly. Sigh. 

Afterward I brought him off the island to the store and then back to the dorms. He was actually nice when he wasn't trashed. But isn't that always the story. We chilled until midnight when it was his birthday and I kissed him and then I headed home. He ended up getting fired a couple days later for threatening someone at work. They kicked him out of the dorm and off the island and got him a hotel in Englewood until he could get a bus back to his home. He wanted me to stop by the hotel and I would have but I was working that day. I felt really bad for Vlad. I'm a fixer. I always think that I can fix messed up guys and Vlad was one messed up guy. I was convinced he just needed a friend. I'm foolish for thinking these things.

Aftermath: Never heard from him again

The crazy story of Daniel

 I kept track of every man, every name. Who cares about the first four. David was number 5. And Daniel was number 20. And there is a total of ##. So there is a long way to go.

I matched with Daniel on Tinder like most of the rest. The one pic was a distance pic so I swiped right. When he sent other pictures I learned that he was really not attractive. I feel ultra-shallow admitting that. But he was uber interesting to converse with. I had the greatest conversations with him. He made the most basic thing interesting. We could have real educated discussions and it was fascinating. 

He wanted to hookup but he made a deal with David. He was going to take David out first. So when Daniel came into town he found out from David what places had good wings and beer and they went out earlier in the evening and hung out together prior to Daniels hookup with me. They actually hung out for a couple hours. According to David, Daniel was about to change his mind but David told him to go ahead. So Daniel went to a park, the park that I had lost my virginity at actually. We wandered through the darkness, through the nature trail and to the wooden benches that still existed and sat there talking and talking. Daniel was such a joy to talk to. I told him I planned to document my experiences and maybe write a book one day and he encouraged it and hoped to read it. Oh, Daniel, please forgive me for saying you weren't typically attractive. You attracted me with your wisdom and your conversation. 

We had sex in the same place I lost my virginity. And I went over time as I usually do. So as we were driving back I saw David driving the opposite direction looking for us. He chased off many men with his crazy behavior. They were afraid of him. I did a lot of apologizing. Last I knew Daniel was going to travel to the other side of the world and live with some monks. 

Aftermath: I remember getting a message from him at some point that he had returned from living with the monks but I can't quite remember when that was. 

Martin

 I met Martin in January 2017.There wasn't much time in between each guy honestly. This first one was late August and here we are only in January.

David's mom died one month earlier. She had been in a nursing home for a little while prior to her death and right before she died her husband contacted David to come see her. She was in horrible shape. Cancer sucks. She had been so good to me after my arrest. When I was scared to death to go to court alone she went with me, even though she was obviously in pain. And early in my group meetings, on the one day of the week that I had court in the afternoon she let me come over to her house after my morning group meeting so I didn't have to waste gas going all the way back to Englewood and then back. She actually liked it. We would eat lunch together and watch afternoon judge shows and criticize everyone on the shows. We would talk and laugh like old friends. I got along very well with David's mom. I miss her very much. 

I had permission to meet Martin. I picked him up in Fort Myers at an apartment building that he had to sneak out of. I guess he had a girlfriend and he had to sneak away. I don't know the details and I didn't ask. Martin was Italian and admitted after I picked him up that he used Google Translate to communicate with me online but he actually spoke well enough to talk to me, I didn't have any problem understanding him. He wanted to head to Fort Myers Beach so I said sure. Actually not even realizing how stinking far Fort Myers Beach was from Fort Myers. It's a good 30 to 45 minutes out of the way. Martin was a very sweet guy and made me feel very comfortable. When we got to Fort Myers Beach we found it to be pretty busy, so we needed to find an out of the way parking lot where we won't be disturbed. We finally found one that wasn't as lit up as the others and didn't have any other cars parked in it. We had sex in the back seat on the car and I'm fairly sure that a few cars drove by and saw us and cheered us on even when we tried to duck down quickly. Afterward he took a picture of my ass for whatever reason and we made out against my car. Martin enjoyed making out and it was a lovely night for it. Then we walked out onto the beach and sat in the sand together and talked a bit. The moon above us was full and the beach was beautiful. So we kissed some more. We made out on the beach under a full moon, yes we did. It was sexy as hell. 

Martin was very affectionate and kept his hand on my thigh for the entire ride back to his place. I was sorry to see him go. 

Aftermath: I never heard from Martin again. 

Taylor

 We were still living at my dad's house at this point. We were all miserable. Where were the kids during all of this? They were all sleeping on a fold out sleeper bed in my dad's living room. And he hated it. They were too loud and too messy for him. I felt awful for my children. They were kids after all, of course they are going to be loud sometimes. But when I pretty much told my dad we needed to move in he said "I thought this was supposed to be my golden years to enjoy" or some stupid nonsense like that. Disregarding the fact that he moved back home in his 40s with his son and lived there for years while his mother more or less raised his son, while he spent every cent he had on " get rick quick schemes" that were all scams. But the difference is that my Mamaw is a wonderful woman that would do anything for another person. And he is not. He ended up kicking his daughter and her family out into the street with nowhere to go. We had a house waiting for us. We were just waiting for the tenants to leave. We just needed a few more weeks. And he kicked us out into the street. What kind of man is that? We were there six months. And it was awful. I realized my father is a horrible alcoholic. And his anxiety problems are worse than I can imagine. This guy needs medication.

So my outlet was the never ending line of men. And Taylor came over one night. We couldn't go in the house obviously so we just got in the back of the van parked in the driveway. Which was kinda tricky because Taylor was very tall so he was very squashed back there. We went at it for quite awhile, it wasn't really great sex though. At the end he requested a BJ and then he came in my mouth. I hate when that happens and I'm not expecting it. I don't enjoy the taste of cum. It's warm and mildly salty. I guess I've tasted worse things. 

Now I don't usually talk about penis size because that is something that a guy cannot help. I've had large guys and smaller guys, cut and uncut and I like them all the same. But Taylor had the most unfortunate penis, long and thin. Every time I would stroke it it would bend a little, even when completely hard. Giving him a BJ was like sucking on a straw. Poor Taylor. He will never please a woman with a thin dick. 

Actually when I moved to Englewood Taylor stopped by again and we had sex in the van again in the driveway. When we were finished he was so overheated he jumped out of the van naked to get some air. We were mortified that the neighbors would see since we were living in a duplex by that point. I think the second time was better than the first. Taylor had a nice body. 

Aftermath: Taylor is still on my Snapchat. I don't talk to him but I see his Snap stories and they are always highlighting something expensive. He apparently has lots of money. Or his parents do. He shows of his expensive sports car and his expensive Rolex watch with diamonds. I bet he's unpleasant to hang around with. Maybe he just shows off his money because he knows he has a skinny penis and he's overcompensating. Idk.

Jason

 Jason was in Fort Myers. I actually had permission to meet Jason. I probably got in trouble for going over time though. I always did. I had difficulty keeping it under an hour with some people. Jason had the unusual situation of living with his ex-girlfriend so he had to wait for her to be out to invite me over. Jason was a super great kisser. I could kiss this guy all day. But the sex didn't last very long. It was like, spectacular buildup for mediocre sex. 👎  I was out in under an hour. 

But the making out was so great that I thought I would like to give him another chance. It was about the same. There was another time that I made plans with him got all the way to Fort Myers and he texted me to cancel. ooooh that pissed me off. Nothing I hated worse was people that flaked on me. 

Plenty of times I had made plans with guys only to have them cancel that day or even while I'm on my way there.  Guys joke about the girls on Tinder wanting "no hookups" but there are plenty of guys that are the same way. They just don't put it on their bio. They want nudes and sexting but when it comes to actual hookups they get nervous and scared. That made me mad. Because I wanted hookups. Don't tease me. If you don't want to meet, that's fine but don't waste my time when I could be making plans with someone that will actually go through with it. Lots of guys flaked on me. Then years later they are all "I shoulda met you that day" Well too late now. 

Anyway, Jason only flaked the one time. It made me mad since I drove all the way to Fort Myers. That's a waste of time and gas for nothing. 

Another time David surprised me with a threesome. He had another guy come over while we were living at my dad's house. He blindfolded me and then the other guy kissed me.I didn't know who it was. David only told me that I had been with this guy before. And then David kissed me. And I took off the blindfold. And Jason was there. Now that was my only threesome and it was more complicated than I expected. I was trying to do a BJ over here while trying to move my pelvis for the other guy over there and I was afraid my coordination was so bad that nobody would be pleasured. David also ended up a little jealous because I did a lot of kissing with Jason. In the end we all had a good time. I hope. That was the last time I saw Jason. 

Aftermath: Jason sent me a message on Facebook maybe a year and a half ago. He had been trying to find me because he was hoping we could hook up. Aww, I had moved to New Hampshire by this time. We talked a little bit. I told him he was an awesome kisser. He thought I was, too. He was on my Facebook and he's not there anymore. 

Aras

 Aras. I would never forget Aras. He was a 27 year old student pilot from Turkey. He was also married. His wife was a gynecologist back in Turkey and he used to work in computer programming or software or something. In any case, he made some money but always wanted to fly airplanes so he saved up and came here to learn how to fly. He was living in Lakeland but he would fly into Punta Gorda Airport to get flying hours. Which is how he showed up on my Tinder. 

David allowed me to meet Aras. I didn't even have to sneak to meet him. He got to be my guy of the week. Part of the deal with David was that the "guy of the week" had to be a hit it and quit it. No repeats. He didn't want me developing relationships with any of these men. Reasonable request, right? 

So I drove to the airport to meet Aras when he flew in. I had never been to the airport so I didn't know if I was supposed to go in or wait outside. Anyway, the day was so freaking hot that I kept the air conditioning on and was listening to music while I waited.  My mistake was that I didn't have the car engine on. So by the time Aras showed up my battery was dead. Oh just perfect! I'm in a parking lot in an airport I don't know with a guy I don't know trying to ask strangers to jump start my car. I look like a damn fool. I was sure Aras was regretting wasting his time and effort flying to me. So we get the car started thanks to a kind stranger and off we go. Aras wanted to stop and get a soda. We stopped at nice restaurant in Punta Gorda and drank soda and shared a piece of cake while we got to know each other. 

Part of David's rules were No dating and here I was clearly sitting at a restaurant sharing a delicious piece of cake with a handsome man. I decided I might leave this part out when I tell David what happened today. 

We drove to the same closed supermarket that Tom had showed me and we parked in the back. He leaned over to kiss me and then we got in the back seat. Sex with Aras was amazing. Even in the confines of the backseat of my car. He was beautiful and it was beautiful and I felt fulfilled. I brought him back to the airport and we kissed goodbye. We had no intention of meeting again. This was supposed to be a one and done. 

Don't ta know we met again four days later. I felt like I had a connection to him somehow. And oddly enough, he said the same thing. We went to the same place and had more amazing sex. This time was different. It was more passionate and sweet, he kept looking into my eyes during it. Like staring right into them and telling me I was beautiful and would brush my cheek with his hand. Lots of soft kissing like he was loving me. I still remember his looking at me like that, so sweet and kind. 

There had been so much fighting and arguing at home with David and tension with my dad, I guess I was so desperate for a man to be kind to me. The feeling was wonderful. For a few moments I felt safe and secure with Aras. I was happy. He was one I would have fallen in love with. Easily. But Aras and I were on a time limit. That was part of David's deal. I was only supposed to spend an hour with whatever guy I was with. And Aras and I went over time by quite a bit. We were too busy prolonging our time together. David kept calling and texting and calling and texting. It really ruins a moment when your husband is trying to ruin your hookup date. I was ignoring the calls. 

We eventually realized I should probably go. I answered the phone and David was really mad. It seemed he usually was. He didn't want me to meet Aras anymore. We spent too long together. He was feeling threatened. So he sent a threatening message to Aras. And Aras decided that it would be best if we don't meet again. Besides he had all of his flying hours anyway so he wouldn't have any reason to come this way. I was crushed. And I was angry at David. David always has to ruin anything good I ever had in my life. Why couldn't David just let me do what I want and let me be happy sometimes? David was always grumpy. For years he'd been grumpy it seemed. And I liked meeting guys from Tinder that were nice to me, even if it was fake nice for sex. because men in my life weren't nice to me. My dad and David were always grumpy toward me. 

I brought Aras back to the airport and off he went. I watched him until he was out of sight. I was sad. I was glad I got to meet him in this life. And I feel horrible that things ended badly. I hope Aras forgives me for the complications that I brought to his life. He just wanted sex, he didn't need some crazy husband threatening him. My heart hurt after Aras and I cried about him. He was special and amazing and I hope he has incredible life. I like to think he'll remember me.

Aftermath: None. Never heard from him again. 

Zach

 Yes, another Zach. This is the last Zach I promise. I bet you can't guess how many Matthews are on my list. I've only introduced one so far. We shall call him Zach from Venice. 

Zach from Venice was 23 and visiting his parents. I guess his parents were from Venice. He was from Tampa. That's where he went to college. So one lovely, sunny day I decided to take a drive to Venice. David had GPS on me this time. He caught me in Venice and he was angry! So instead of enjoying my adrenaline rush about meeting a new guy, David was going to ruin it with an argument. Grrrrr, How irritating! Obviously he's my husband but I wish he would just let me have my way with these younger guys and then I just go on my way. It's not like I'm going to marry them. geez. I wish he'd stop fighting me and just let me do what I want. 

  You see I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too. I wanted the love and stability of a man at home but I also wanted to be able to go fuck twentysomethings whenever I want without any repercussions. And I had it bad for the twentysomethings. David was fighting me the entire way. I proposed an open relationship. He could have any girl he wanted as well. So we agreed. For one year I could have one guy a week approved by him, and condoms must be used. It sounds pretty basic but I wasn't really strict about the condom use thing. 😶 You see, my tubes were tied so I couldn't get pregnant so I certainly wasn't worried about that. And I guess I wasn't worried about any diseases. I was hooking up with clean guys in their twenties, it's not like they were scruffy guys from a biker bar. Yes, I am seriously a nurse. And yes, I know STIs can be carried by anyone no matter what they look like. But I wasn't really concerned. I would ask "Are you clean?" and they would say yes so that was good enough for me. Anyway, David ended up letting Zach be my guy of the week since I was almost there anyway.

Zach's parents had a nice place. I don't remember if he was outside waiting for me or if I had to go to the door but I was very happily surprised to find that Zach was way hotter than his pictures. His hair was dark brown and his eyes were a beautiful blue. And he looked very fit as well.  He brought me to a back room where we sat on a loveseat sofa thing and talked a little bit. He thought I was very attractive and he was very nervous because I was an older woman. Zach was shy and I found it very endearing. I get nervous too when it comes to the first move. Usually the guy does it but sometimes I have to show a young man what I can really do. So I kissed him. After the first kiss everything is always ok. I can take it from there easily. I kiss, and kiss some more then I climb on top of him and straddle him while I kiss his face and neck and whatever. I'm sure I did this to Zach. It's my favorite move. And guys seem to enjoy it. We had some good sex, Zach and I. I helped him get past his shyness. And his body was very, very nice. Zach was sweet. 

Aftermath: Never saw him again. But we follow each other on Instagram. 

Zachary S.

 Zachary was a server at Longhorn Steakhouse in Port Charlotte much to David's dismay. David wanted to try that place and we were never able to since I hooked up with a server from there. 

Anyway, back in 2017 when I met Zachary we couldn't afford to go out to eat anyway. I was working at The Pink Elephant making 10 bucks and hour and David was working out on Palm Island or was it Grand Villa by this point? Neither David nor I were having great luck with jobs. I had gotten fired from Palm Island for starting some drama with a coworker and taking a picture of myself in a unit and posting it on Facebook and David got fired from the same place, well they accused him of bringing beer to work or drinking on the job or something. Funny thing is that he worked with a guy who was a legit alcoholic who would drink all day long, and they never said a word to that guy. They just wanted a reason to fire David. Maybe for leaving work in the middle of the day to catch me meeting guys. David was obsessed with catching me in the act. He was constantly logging into my Snapchat on his phone, trying to find out where I was. He probably lost a few jobs due to his obsession with me.

So, thankfully, Zachary lived in North Port so I didn't have to go far! I finally found someone local. I was nervous pulling up to his house. I always was. I mean, you don't really know what kind of situation you are going to find yourself in when you are hooking up with Tinder guys. They might seem nice through text but in person they could be totally different. But that is what I loved about it! The uncertainty and the mystery. The making plans with strangers, even the sneaking around. The adrenaline rush was amazing! That's why I did all this. For the adrenaline rush. I like to say I am dopamine deficient and adrenaline feels like a dopamine release ( I just read that online, so it must be true) so addicts look for that pleasurable feeling and this was how I got my kicks without drugs.

I was so glad that Zachary was super nice and friendly right away. He brought me to his bedroom and I remember sitting on the bed next to him talking for a bit before either of us made the first move. But once we got started we didn't stop. For and hour and a half. We did everything and anything. This position and that position and moved all different ways. I could hardly breathe by the time we were done. I do a lot of mouth breathing during sex so I ran out of air. Holy crap. We were so sweaty and sticky and messy. Wow. We were a mess by the time we finished. Zachary was so much fun! Then he got me a drink of water which I needed very badly. And we sat and talked a while just calming down from our sex marathon while we drank our water. Then we took turns in the shower to wash up. Then I got dressed and went home. I definitely rate Zachary a 10. We had a blast. He impressed me for a 26 year old. I later discovered I lost my nose piercing in his bed, I wonder if he ever found it.

Aftermath: Unfortunately I never heard from him again. At the time this happened David was really cracking down on my Snapchat and was doing a fair amount of deleting guys so I wonder if Zachary was deleted or blocked by David. 😒 David was my #1 cockblocker. 

Tom

 By the time I met Tom I was living at my dad's house. We had been evicted from the house in Rotonda because we couldn't afford it and lost all our belongings, books, furniture, everything. We still look for things now and when we can't find them wonder if we lost them in the eviction. They weren't able to pile our stuff at the roadside for us to go through so they donated or recycled everything. I tried going to the local thrift stores but never found any of our stuff. I was mostly concerned about our books. We had so many good books. And all the boys stuffed animals, gone. And their toys, too. It's hard to start over from nothing. My dad was more or less pissed off that we were living at his house so the tension you could cut with a knife. And David and I were having issues because I kept meeting guys.  And I was depressed and miserable about my situation and I couldn't even do drugs about it because I had to stay clean for my program so that's why I was screwing around. 

Tom's picture on Tinder was only his body so I took a risk with it. Many times, after him, I learned that usually means they are ugly. But I was a rookie at this point. So Tom and I had been talking off and on, sexting usually. He had a girlfriend so he would send messages at odd times. One afternoon I was hanging at home alone and he messaged me about meeting up. I said I would love to but it really sucks that I'm on my period. He's like aren't girl's more horny on their period? or something like that. He said he didn't mind. He's had sex with girls on their period before. So I agreed to meet him. I was so nervous thinking that it was David trying to set me up to catch me cheating, so Tom sent me a picture of himself driving to ease my mind. 

I met him some place in South Punta Gorda and I was so glad to discover that Tom looked really good! The only reason he didn't show his face on Tinder was because he had a girlfriend, definitely not because he was unattractive. We walked a ways along a sidewalk along an access road and then ended up ducking behind a barbed wire fence trying to find a secluded place behind some bushes or some trees. I mean we were desperate. We finally found a place and we stood there facing each other and he was so nervous, it was cute. I had to kiss him first. But once I got him started it was all good from there. I got right down on my knees in the dirt and gave him a BJ. And then I stood up pulled my pants down and bent over right there behind the bushes on the side of the road while he fucked me from the back. And I loved it. When we were finished and I tried my best to put myself all back together, I saw what a mess I had made of this poor guy. His dick and groin area were covered in blood! I was mortified. And I felt horrible for him. I apologized profusely and I told him that I could clean him off at my car because I have some paper towels. But he didn't take me up on my offer. He was ok with it. But I thought at least I won't see him again right? I was wrong

The next time we met Tom told me about an old closed Sweet Bay supermarket parking lot that we could go to. He said we could meet and park in the back. I got there and Tom was ready to go. He hopped in my car and we had the hottest sweatiest quickie. Damn it was sweet. And he kisses so good. And then off he went. I still to this day know very little about Tom. Maybe his name isn't even Tom, he never gave me a straight answer about that. He works as a security guard and he has a girlfriend and he is in an unhappy relationship. And he told me not to get attached.

Last time I met Tom I was out with David, we were going to go behind the closed Sweet Bay store where we were going to do nefarious things but Tom called while we were on the way there, so David let me have the quickie with Tom. David took a walk while Tom drove over. Tom was nervous David was around but he was long gone by this point. Tom was already hard when he got in the car. He was ready for me. It was hot, and it was quick. And he was gone. And I never saw Tom again. Not that he wouldn't love to see me. Tom was a cool guy and the sex was superb. 

Aftermath: Tom and I never lost contact. He still sends me messages and dick pics almost every day. I just send him nudes regularly and he always tells me how hot I am and I appreciate the compliments. I probably don't respond to his messages like I should but he always just wants to know when I'll be coming back to Florida and he likes to tell me how much he came to my pictures that I sent. Four years later and he still likes to reminisce about our few hook ups. I guess I made an impression on this 25 year/old guy. 

Chris

 I was hanging with my friend Jen and she said she would cover for me if I wanted to go somewhere, so I took her up on it.  

Chris and I had been talking a for a couple days, he had a girlfriend so he could only talk at certain times but he wanted to meet up. I went over to his apartment and first of all, Chris was very good looking, I was very happy with what I saw. But he answered the door in a yeti suit. Like a furry yeti suit with ears and stuff but he had the top part down around his waist so he was walking around with furry pants. Anyway, bizarre. He also was not friendly at all. Usually guys are nice, make some small talk, but not Chris. He's also the first (and last) man that refused to kiss me. I should have left then. But it would have been a waste of a drive. I'm thinking, how am I going to get into it without any kissing? Chris wanted a BJ, He forced my head down on him, very uncomfortably, repeatedly until I was gagging and choking. 

I don't understand why guys do that to girls from Tinder. Do you have an anger issue you need to get out? Why did you want me to come here if you are going to treat me bad? Wtf? 

After the BJ he didn't want to have sex with me but I wasn't going to fall for that shit again. I insisted that he had to have sex with me before I left. I came for one thing and I was going to get it. So he did. And it was horrible sex. With his yeti suit on. Chris was a jerk. Fucking asshole.

Aftermath: nothing, thank god. Chris can eat a dick and like it. What was with that outfit?

Stay tuned...my stories get happier

Christopher and David the Virgin

I didn't have sex with every guy I met up with. My primary objective meeting them was always sex but sometimes they fooled me. It only took a couple of those meet ups to learn my lesson. I started telling men what I wanted before I met them, sort of like ordering a meal at a restaurant. "I'm looking for a hook up, no violence, no butt stuff and kissing is mandatory" I didn't ask for much. There were also some guys that met me also looking for a hookup but didn't complete the mission. I have five guys I listed as makeout partners that didn't finish. I don't recall if they were unable to perform or they changed their mind. Oh well, their loss. These two I am discussing here though are the ones that fooled me. 

Christopher-He had an apartment in Riverview. He worked at a bank, on the way to his place he called me and rambled on for thirty minutes about how he hated his boss. Great. I could care less dude. I got to his place and I see his car is a BMW. I get to door and the guy who answers the door is definitely not the guy in the tinder pic. He's unattractive to me, but he looks clean and I came a long way so...He's very well dressed ,wearing an Armani belt. We made out heavy until it was clear that he wanted me to go down on him. Okay, not my first rodeo, so I start thinking this is just the precursor to sex but he keeps pushing my head down farther and farther not letting me come up for air until he came in my mouth. I'm pissed at this point. I don't like how this guy is treating me at all. He wanted me to come back the next day for sex. I was angry and I let this guy know it. I came for sex and he didn't give me what I wanted so NO WAY would I ever be back. I'm sure he could care less. He's gonna keep catfishing girls and forcing them to blow him. I hope they are smarter than me and leave his ugly ass once they realize they've been catfished.  Asshole.

David the Virgin- David was 24 years old and apparently a virgin. I don't know if he told me why. He wanted to meet up and he wasn't even sure what he wanted. I was hoping to take his virginity since I had never done that before. But David was kinda meek and nervous. He was kind of a mystery I suppose. For being a virgin, he was an excellent kisser and his fingering game was on point. Those fingers were magic. We did some heavy making out and he pulled his shorts down and wanted me to tell him if his erection was a good size. It was. But he wouldn't have sex with me. I left David very turned on and frustrated. I wrote in my notes that I hope he doesn't feel shame because of what we did together. I can't remember why he would feel shame. I didn't do anything to poor David that he didn't want to do. I think he just was waiting for a special person to take his virginity. Not a Tinder girl. But maybe he was playing me? I don't know.

aftermath: none, never heard from either again. 

Zach S.

 The day before Thanksgiving I believe, 2016, is when this took place. I never recorded dates but I always remember this was right before the holiday. I took quite a risk that day.

 I was working as a hostess at a pretty posh restaurant on Boca Grande called The Pink Elephant. I had a pretty good deal but the pay sucked. Ten bucks an hour to deal with a lot of headache on busy nights, boredom on not so busy days. I got to wear a cute black dress that I looked pretty good in and I also got my tolls paid, which was 6 bucks each time you cross the bridge so pretty sweet. I could use it even when I wasn't working so I could chill at the beautiful beach for free. Sometimes on break I would sit at the beach and just watch the waves. Man, I loved it out there. 

Anyway, They changed my schedule on the day before Thanksgiving so I got out of work several ours earlier than I was supposed to. Well, deviant as I am used this as an opportunity to get some dick. I didn't tell my family that my schedule changed and I drove from Boca Grande all the fuck to Naples to meet this guy Zachary. The adrenaline was flowing the entire drive thinking "WTF am I even doing?" I knew if I got a flat tire or the car broke down I would be fucked and in a bad, bad way. 

I found his apartment and I text him from the parking lot and he comes out to meet me. Zachary was very cute, I'll give him that.  He had told me he had a roommate but he more or less snuck me into his bedroom. So while I was there I was questioning the roommate thing thinking , OMG he lives with his parents doesn't he? Why else would he sneak me in? Then we had sex with the dog in the room, maybe on the bed? And I'm trying to get into it and he's covering my mouth saying ,"Shhh, don't make any noise" It didn't last very long, maybe 15 minutes, and then he wanted to cum on my boobs. I let him. It was messy and pointless. Then I redressed and he had to sneak me back out of his room and his apartment. Definitely a weird experience. 

I felt unsatisfied considering how far I had driven so I tried to hit up another guy I knew in Naples named Jeremy, but Jeremy was at the gym or something so my risky trip to Naples was not worth it. I never made another trip to Naples. As time went by I found what I was looking for closer to home.

Aftermath: Nothing. never heard from that guy again. But Jeremy still sends me weird drunk messages on Snapchat sometimes.