"hurricane" ernesto

Puh-lease this was the most pathetic storm EVER! The TV weather people and the weather channel had us all breaked out that this would be something horrible. I think it was an actual hurricane for about 5 minutes and then became a pathetic tropical storm. The newspaper headlines said " Are we ready for another disaster?" This just proves to me that weather people haven't any clue. you know who does? animals. The day before hurricane Charley we noticed there wasn't any birds anywhere around. Outside it was eerily calm and quiet. We knew something was up. And the cat stayed under the bed until three days after the hurricane.
So now we always monitor the birds in the neigborhood. If they are all flying around and eating at the bird feeder I feel safe. if the cats are acting normal then i'm not worried.
Granted some of the low lying areas in town do have some standing water but in years past we have had far worse thunderstorms.
Tomorrow is our 5th anniversary. We are going out to have a nice dinner while Sean and Heather watch Seth. It'll be a nice day...:)

David's out of town:(

He flew to South Carolina to see a Breaking Benjamin concert yesterday morning. He's flying back right now...probably will be home in a few hours. His friend Roger won tickets and airfare and hotel from a radio station and David went with. He says Charleston in really nice but i don't think he had as good of a time as he had hoped. Oh well, it's always an adventure!
Hurricane Ernesto is going to miss us it looks like. It's going farther and farther east and I am glad. I wasn't too freaked out though like some people. heck, i've been through a category 4 hurricane...what's a category 1? I'll laugh in it's face. HA HA!! At least this has been a slow hurricane year. August and Septmenber are the busiest months so i have one more month to go and then we will be ( mostly) in the clear.
I'm still feeling very worn out but not near what I was feeling. i can actually walk across my tiny house without wanting to pass out and holding on to the walls. I am more hungry than any normal person should be...I swear I am on my way to a 50 lbs. weight gain. I am going to be HUGE! I've thought about going with it and becoming a sumo wrestler when this all over with. Are there women sumo wrestlers? I don't know if i'd like the diaper...

Yesterday Seth and i went to the mall with Mamaw, we ate a then took a long walk around the perimeter of the mall. Seth was such a good boy and Mamaw and I talked alot. She's really great. I don't wanna think about what i'd do without her. I hope I have a baby girl so i can name her after my grandmother. My little girl will be Jillian Ruby. The Ruby after my mamaw ,of course!

My dream house...

My childhood home. The Calvert house. I never knew how good I had it. My parents had this house built in 1984 when i was going in to 2nd grade. Everything was custom. The fireplace mantel was made from a tree trunk that had been brought from somewhere up north. The master bathtub was marble. My mother picked out every color and knob and cabinet. It wasn't enourmous but a comfy size. 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. Prime lot on a corner in a nice neighborhood of newer houses near an elementary school. Lovely pool and an extra lot for gardening and a treehouse for the kids. My friends always wanted to stay over and at the time I took the house for granted. Now I know better.
My parents had a nasty divorce when I was 18 and my mom moved out. A couple years later my dad moved out and my mom moved back, but unbeknownst to her he had taken out a second mortgage and stopped making the payments so the lovely house was foreclosed upon. It was difficult for the family to lose the house. Lose all of those memories, all of those years of happiness before things went bad. There was even a wall in the laundry room that had all of our height measuements on it from when we were very young and from when Sean was just a baby.
I wanted to keep that wall. Even all of our friends were measured on that wall.

I haven't lived in that house in 11 years but every dream I have every night that takes place in any house...it takes place in THAT house. My childhood home. The Calvert house that I will always love. The house that held all those wonderful years of happy memories.

The new owners have fixed it up very nicely and it's still as beautiful as always. Sometimes I drive past it. My sister and brother have told me that , on occasion, they do too. One day if david and I ever win big in the lottery we are going to that house and offer the owners anything they want so we can have that house back in my family.

I can always dream, can't I? After all, it is the house of my dreams.

Second appointment update

Everything was normal, normal, normal! My weight is good ( I've gained a mere 3 lbs.) my labwork, pap, and urine tests were good and my BP is low.(Better than high, at least,LOL) My babe's heartbeat was great. I was asked about having the AFP test done and I refused. My Dr. said that hardly anyone is having it done anymore. Next appt. is Sept. 20.

more...

Here is Seth and I hiding... and my sister and Amber ( with Seth of course)

Trying to post pics...

Here's my boy!

I love him.

The second time I listened to the baby's heart beat I called David into the room. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. He smiled so big and said ," That's MY baby!" It was wonderful. He's so cute. :)
He's a little down today and it makes me feel sad. He is such a good person and he treats Seth and I wonderfully. He deserves to be happy. Why do people have to be so mean sometimes? There are ways of breaking bad news to people without being an ass about it, so why do people do it. Unless they are an ass...
This is just my opinion. In no way does it relect the opinions of any other human being.

Heartbeats, insomnia, Seth and Mrs. Robinson.

Today I finally found the baby's heartbeat with the doppler! It was nice and fast and way lower than I thought which is why I probably couldn't find it before. It was nice to hear. I love, love , love it!!!!!!! Hearing the heartbeat made it seem more real to me. All of this tiredness, and grumpiness, and sleeplessness is going to amount to something. Hopefully a roly-poly adorable little something! With 10 toes and 10 fingers...that would be nice too.
I never feel well rested at night. I'm so tired all day and at night I just doze. I don't really get very good restful sleep. I hope this doesn't last for the entire pregnancy. I also find that I am very short of breath alot but I am beginning to think that might be related to anxiety in addition to the progesterone hormones in body. I really don't like feeling anxiety.
Apparently my brother has been having problems with the mom of an ex of his ( who he broke up with like two years ago!) She works in a police office and has been throwing her weight around making him look bad and getting him in trouble. She's sent an letter to Crimestoppers telling them all of the personal things about his life and making him look like a bad person and so now he isn't allowed on school property to pick up or drop off his girlfriend or go to any school functions with her without prior authorization. Of course, she didn't sign the letter but he knows it's her because she's done things like this before to him. Things like this have been going on for a year or so according to him. Sean has been in his share of drama and bad scenes but he's a good person and it really bugs me that this lady is making his life more difficult than it needs to be. She really need to move on and get a life. Personally i think she must be obsessed with him or something. She sounds dangerous to me.
On a lighter note...Today I was putting clothes away and Seth said " come " and grabbed my hand. I said " Just a moment, I need to put this away first" and he said " alright" I thought it was so cute. What a good boy, I love him.
He's such a mimic, I cannot believe how fast he catches on to new words! Every day he says something new.

Baby's first pic

This was done about a month ago. I was absolutely thrilled that there was just one floating around in there! I would've paniked(sp) if there were more! I looks an awful lot like Seth's first photo actually. Just a little blob in there. My next appt. is the 23rd. and who knows what they will do then. Probably listen to the heart rate and measure my belly, the basics.

Still waiting for the doppler!

I ordered a doppler!

I'm not nearly as nervous about the baby this time around but I still would like to hear the heartbeat. Besides, David is inable to accompany me to my appointments due to his work schedule so he wants to hear the heartbeat as well. Anyway it should be here in 2-5 days. I'm looking forward to it!
I've felt very good the last couple days. As if my energy and good mood came back full force ,it was lovely. Then today I'm tired again. Blech. I am starting to develop a belly. Right now it's just a small rounded belly. Not anything drastic. I can still wear my normal clothes and all. i don't think I've porked up too much yet.

This morning Seth slipped while he was running and hit his head on the cat door. He sustained a small laceration on his forehead tha seemed to bleed quite a bit so it freaked me out. I held pressure on it and put a Spiderman band aid on and he's just peachy. He really likes his band aid. Amazing that so much blood came from such a small opening. This kid is going to give me a heart attack before all is said and done, I swear!! I'm just hoping he has a good guardian angel! He will need it.

Sometimes I hate myself.

This past week David has been working very late hours and then today was his best friend's bachelor party...in Tampa, so he's been gone all day. It's not his fault but I get so damn tired that I wish I had some help around here! Seth is always going a mile a minute. " mom, come!" "Come!" "Book!" Quack, quack!" "cookie" Grabbing my hand and wanting me to follow him. Meanwhile I just want to sit for a couple minutes because I am so short of breath and exhausted. I feel like the worst mom ever because I am just too tired to play.
I just want some quiet. I hate being so edgy and emotional. Of course I mentioned before that I can't take the Zoloft anymore because it keeps me from resting well and right now I need every ounce of sleep I can get. If I didn't feel bad enough about being too tired to play I feel bad about feeling bad because...well. I am just a mess.
Today I had my prenatal labwork drawn and they took 4 large and 3 small vials of blood. I was understandibly woozy afterwards. And more tired than usual. At least when you donate blood they give you a cookie and some juice...not to mention a 25% off coupon to one of the fast food places at the mall, for pete's sake. I think these labs should give OJ and a chocolate chip cookie to their patrons who donate excessive amount of blood. I know they charge enough for those tests ,tell me they couldn't afford a little Chips Ahoy, C'mon!

I saw Walt today ( He's the guy getting married on Sunday) What am icky looking guy! The hair on his head is so big and bushy, it just looks dirty and unkempt. I remember when he was actually an attractive man. He used to be pretty built and his hair was short and neat, he actually took good care of himself. What happened??. He's gained a bit a of weight too. Ick, I certainly wouldn't marry him.

As sson as I eat my squash I am going to hop in my bubble bath. That should help me relax!

My mall outing.

Since it's just about 150 degrees out the only places we can go are air conditioned. Today we went to the mall. First we ate some chicken strips and fries ( Seth enjoyed the plastic ware more than the food) then we walked the mall. Even though I am still feeling quite fatigued and short of breath I am DETERMINED that I am not going to gain 40+ lbs this pregnancy. While we were walking I couldn't help but notice that a good portion of the mall- goers today were way in need of a good workout. I have to admit I am in better shape pregnant than many of them were NOT pregnant. Suddenly I felt better about my 2 pound weight gain (so far, that is)
I guess people might say " How do you KNOW they aren't pregnant? YOU don't exactly look pregnant ( exept for your enlarged rack, of course) " I would tell them that most of these women were middle aged or teen aged ( and THAT is really sad). I'm a bitch, I know it. But now I feel better about my body. And it always feels good after i know I have done something healthy for my body...and a nice brisk walk in A/C definitely counts.
While I was there I thought I might see if there were any good sales since I don't have much $ until tomorrow. Unfortunately I didn't find anything I just HAD to have. Exept some bubble bath and a rubber ducky from Bath and Body Works ( set me back a whopping $14 ) The rubber ducky was for Seth, obviously, to add to his collection ( more on that later).

JC Penney had nothing good. They had a TON of long sleeved ,very cute winter outfits for little guys but I was wondering if anyone every told the JC Penney people that it's flipping 150 degrees outside! I mean, really. August is one of the hottest months of the year and they are trying to sell winter stuff! It doesn't even get cold here until MAYBE November...more like December. I don't know who's going to buy it but I will wait for it to go on sale. It will look very cute on Seth on the 5 cold days we have per year.

Anyways, about the rubber duck. Seth has four of them now. He likes to make them talk to each other in the bath and it's very cute, but considering his limited vocabulary the duck conversation goes a little like this.
Duck 1: " Hi! Hi!"
Duck2: " Who's that?"
Duck1: "Quack, quack"
Duck2: "Hi! Hi!"
I think it's very cute.

At my last appt. my Dr. gave me Zoloft for my increased anxiety. Since I am a fruitcake I was very happy to have something bring me back to normal. Unfortunately it made me unable to sleep. So I stopped taking it for awhile. Meanwhile I have discovered that a nice warm bubble bath after Seth goes to bed really helps me sleep like a baby. It's wonderful.
So I am going to forego my Zoloft for a bit and if I feel I need to start up again it is there for me. Unfortunately since it takes a few weeks to even take effect it's a pain in the butt but I really NEED to sleep.
Meanwhile I am overly senstitive and prone to weepiness. yuck. I hate that.