My Charmed Life

 I was arrested because I was addicted to and stealing opiates. Then I lived as a very, very poor person for a few years, bouncing my family from address to address. Living in hotels and with family , being evicted too many times, maybe three? Four? I lost count. One car repossessed. Instead of drugs, I became addicted to men. So many men. Then I quit men for cocaine. Oh, I did so much cocaine. And I loved it. I spent all our money on it. So we had to move to NH because we were broke and homeless. 

Now I have my nursing career back and I make more than I did in Florida. I live in a little house with my family and I try to get them anything they want. My life is a charmed one. I don't want for anything anymore. I don't have to count change to go to the store and we aren't hungry. 

Do deserve this? Probably not. I try to hide that I am an awful person but my family knows the real me. The me that wants everything a certain way. The me that gets whatever I want or I get mad. The me that isn't soft and sensitive anymore. The me that demands everybody do what I want them to do. David does it too. He knows I get what I want. That's why I got all the men and after that, all the cocaine. I was miserable for a year after I moved to NH. No drugs and no men. I still have to live that life. Maybe that's why I feel so grumpy. I have to fake that I'm a "good" person so I can keep a job and live a normal life. But inside I'm seething. 

I'm bored here. And I want to go do things and I want to take the kids places. But my husband isn't a worker bee like myself. He's happy to stay at home watching TV. He only works part time but hates the hours he works. And if he doesn't work then I have no extra money because my paycheck pays for everything. This is a recurring theme through our marriage. He's just not ambitious. Never has been. Drives me nuts. But this is the life I chose. I guess. This is getting old.

Bobby

 Bobby was a friend of my friend, Jen. He had been checking me out when we went out to the Pearl and Jen spoke highly of him. She told me that he was well endowed so I agreed to try him out. She gave me his Snap and it turns out he was right down the road from me so perfect. 

Bobby came over a bunch of times and sometimes I went to his house. We hooked up 7 different times, It was awfully convenient that he was down the road. He said I was about the best he ever had. He was alright but I always had to do all the work. And he wasn't very affectionate, so not really much kissing so. He was pretty cool to hang out with though. Sometimes I would go up to the beach to hang out with him and Jen. And if David was suspicious I could simply tell him that I was hanging out with Jen only and take a pic of us to send him. Jen was fine with covering for me. I really do miss her. I don't have many friends and it was nice to have a friend that was so judgy of me. I'm really not a good person and it hurts when people outright tell me that. I like people as flawed as myself. 

Aftermath: bobby and I remained friends until I moved though he was unhappy that I "cut him off" from sexy times after I fell in love with some asshole. I haven't gotten to him yet. But that was a big stupid mistake. I spent a year pining over one guy when I could have continued the fun I was having with all the wrong guys. 

Jesse

 Oh geez, this guy. I don't even remember how I found Jesse. He had a girlfriend and they had an open relationship and Jesse was looking for a FWB for a recurring thing. So we talked about this and thought we might try each other out. He looked alright though he was a little meatier than I prefer.

This went terribly. I mean, our meeting was okay but afterward he didn't want to see me again because I was too, I can't remember exactly. But I think I was too eager or over enthusiastic or something. Maybe he wanted someone with less energy. Who knows. But he was the worst kisser I ever met. He was sloppy and uncoordinated. Yuck.

Aftermath: I think he blocked me. Who cares. 

Robby

 I first met Robby while I was working at the White Elephant on Englewood Beach. For a short period of time I was a hostess at this beach restaurant until they couldn't give me enough hours I needed and I went elsewhere. But one day I was standing at the door and this very nice looking guy walks up and asks for an application, so I chatted with him briefly while I looked for an application and while he filled it out. I hoped that they would hire him but they didn't in the end. He got a job at the Sandbar as a cook  and I would see him sometimes. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So I checked the application for his name. ;) And I Facebook stalked him. But I would never call him. I'm not that creepy. By strange coincidence, or maybe not, I found him on Tinder the next week and we matched and we started messaging. I hooked up with Robby a few times. I really liked him. He was cool as hell. He apparently had just gotten out of jail for a drug related offense and, like myself, had to stay clean to pass the drug test at his probation. So we had a bit in common since we had drug issues. He was in his early 20s, maybe 21? He was living with his parents in Rotonda so it was in town. I went to his house a couple times and he came to my house once and one time we met at his friend's apt. He used to regularly message me in the evening and ask if I could come over even after I told him that evenings were no good for me. But in my heart I wanted to go every time. 

It seemed every time I met Robby we ended up in the shower together. And we would make out in the shower. Wonderful memories I have of that. It was one of my favorite things to do. If you never made out in a hot shower I suggest you try it. 👍👍

Aftermath: I friended him on Facebook several months ago for the heck of it. I peeked his account and he has a nice girlfriend who has a couple kids and they look very happy.  I'm glad he's staying out of jail and living a good life. I'm sure she gets to make out with him in the shower now. Lucky girl.

Logan

 Logan was thin with blond hair and really cool. I remember laying there and just chatting with him for a bit afterward. He talked about how it could be annoying for a guy to have an above average sized penis. He said it gets in the way a lot. 😂. I guess it could be a problem. But what a problem to have, right? 

Ki

 You'd think I would remember a guy named Ki. But I don't. I wish I had pictures of all these guys. I really do. 

Josh

 Again, I was pretty busy around this time and there were several "one and done"s in my life. I was very particular after my days of finding weird guys on Whisper and my standards were higher again so I was picking nice looking guys.

I've been doing some thinking and I think I can remember this guy. He drove from Fort Myers, I'm pretty sure and I think he wore glasses. Thin build. We went to a park in Englewood that I used to meet guys often. He didn't want to do it in the car in the parking lot so we took a walk down the trail a little bit and found like a bench or something, if I remember correctly. He was well endowed and had a difficult time getting all the way erect which made sex a bit challenging. I really tried my best. Honestly I think it would have been more pleasant in the car but it's whatever. The sex was awkward and not satisfying. And it was his first time according to him. So he had no clue what he was doing and I was making my best attempt. In my life, he's the only guy that I took their virginity. I can't forget that part. I'm sorry Josh, wish I could have made it more pleasant. I hope by now you've had amazing sex. 

Vasyl

This was probably somewhere near the middle of 2017 I think. I finished my court ordered mental health court in July of 2017. No relapses or new charges. I was still pissed because they told me that my record was sealed once I graduated but nobody could really tell me what that meant. Will I be able to pass a background check or not? That was the most important question and all I cared about. Way in the future, 2021, my therapist would call Charlotte county records to find out the status of my case and turns out once I finished my program all the charges were dropped. So even better than a sealed record. But will my charges show up on a background check? Still nobody knew. 

In NH I was able to work as a nurse with a multi state license and they weren't doing FBI checks during COVID state of emergency so I simply did the local and state background checks. I eventually had to transfer my license to NH and had to do my FBI background check. This thing, this one thing stressed me out for six years. Since the moment of my arrest I wondered if I could pass the background check. 

And I did. What a relief. But I still wonder if I would be able to pass it in Florida, or will I never be able to work as a nurse in Florida again? I don't know. 

But I'm good here. 

Anyways, Vasyl. We matched on Tinder and he was from somewhere in eastern Europe. Maybe Ukraine? I don't remember. But he had an accent. Very attractive, nice body. dark hair. And I recognized him. I had seen him before in my friend's Snap stories. He was her boyfriend. 

But he didn't tell me that. He didn't tell me that he had a girl at all. And he didn't know I was once a friend of his girlfriend. Or maybe he did? It all seemed to be too odd of a coincidence to happen like that. Originally he matched with me looking for a third person for him and his girl. And I wasn't interested in that. Especially since I knew her. But after that initial conversation he started messaging me for only him. And I was interested in that.

I snuck him in through my window one fine day and as I remember it was a good time. 

Aftermath: I never heard from him again. After that he apparently moved away but I had him and my friend on my Snapchat so I kept up with him for awhile. They got pretty serious for a couple years. He never tried to contact me again. He's on my Instagram but he doesn't post many pics. He ended up moving back to Florida after he broke up with my friend. I wonder if she ever found out about me. 🤷‍♀️

MIguel

 I'm ashamed I don't remember this guy. I suck.