Friday, February 26, 2010

I am feeling conflicted...

I went to the interviews yesterday. First with the office manager and then with the Dr. Both went well.

This morning I recieved a call from the staffing agency offering me the position. They wanted me to start Monday. Yippee! I thought. But then I was told what they wanted to pay me..and my heart sank. I even told the lady. I haven't been paid that since my first nursing job 10 years ago!
I was a $6.50 hr. pay cut from my previous job! What! Now I fully expected to make less than I was at Harbour Health but, I mean, I do have to survive and feed my family. And pay for day care.

So i called the nursing staffing agency, they want me to come in on Tuesday for my second interview. ( The lady told me at the first one that if I was asked to come for a second one, I pretty much got the job)

So I declined the offer at the Dr. office for the agency job. I think that some people think I am foolish for doing that but I just hate to take so many steps back ward like that. I truly feel I am worth more than what they offered. I have experience and many skills to offer.

I think in the long run, I am going to be happy with my decision. My heart just wasn't into the Dr. office thing. I need to work in long term care.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I sure hope something good comes out of this.

I have an interview with the Recovery Center tomorrow at 0930. They really are interested in someone that can work on short notice -which I cannot. It's dealing with mental health and detox patients which is way out of my experience. Not that i wouldn't be intersted in learning- but i am used to dementia crazy- not "crazy" crazy. And no I am not being derogatory because I have diagnoses that make me technically " crazy" as well. But can I deal with a bunch of "me's"?
Probably not.
In any case, I may not go to the interview.

This morning I received a call regarding an app i had filled out weeks ago for a position at a Dr. office. She asked if i was still interested (yes!) and could I come for an interview.(Yes!) 15 minutes later one of the long term care facilities called to set up an interview for Monday (yes!)
Later that morning I got a call from a very pleasant sounding woman regarding a position at a home health agency in Bradenton. She sounded more than eager to employ me- but I simply cannot drive almost 100 miles for a job- unless it pays wicked well. So i had to say no. She sounded disappointed. Maybe that was my imagination..

I filled ot the application for a home health agency more local, but I am guessing it ended up in their data base and was pulled up in Bradenton. Who knows?

At the interview I had to fill out some paperwork ( I am so sick of writing out my personal info and work history, aren't resumes supposed to elimate all tht writing?) and then sit down with the lady at the employment place. She seemed to like me and she was confident that I would do well at the proposed position at a local dr. office. She also reassured me that my background check was clear, ( I knew that) and I voiced my concerns that my prior job might say something unfavorable. She was supportive and stated that if they did say I was a poor emlpoyee she could ask them why ,then, did they keep me as an employee for the better part of nine years?

I think I like that lady.

Tomorrow I am going to interview with the office manager of the Dr. office.

Then I got a call from another place I applied, they want to come in and fill out, wait for it, paperwork! That job is at a correctional institution. I could do it, but the hours would be difficult with my kids- plus it's in another town. I am pondering what to do about this situation. I am going to cancel the recovery center interview in the morning, going instead to the Dr. office one.

Oh dear. my head is spinning...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's always good news that is barely out of my reach

I have been to quite a few facilities where I had to fill out an application and then sit down for an informal interview with the staff development person. Each time I think I do well. Even though I still find it a little strange to "sell" myself to a potential employer. I always am slightly uncomfortable "tooting my own horn" so to speak.
But they always seem to like me and why not. I am likable, I think. And I am certainly genuine. Of all my character flaws, I have one shining asset. I cannot lie for crap. I am as honest as they get. And that, I hope people see, is a good thing.

I applied at a different place yesterday, my friend's neice gave me the heads up on the position, so I called and spoke to the DON and filled out an app. Now i just wait...

Today I called the places that I applied last week. One will return my call and the other is trying to find a place in the schedule that I would fit in. Sounds promising-if only there was a place for me.. She said she will get back to me.

I wish i had more flexibility with my schedule because there are a couple places that i could probably get a position right now for 3-11. But what would I do with my boys? Even if I could bring them home prior to my shift. I don't have anyone to stay with them for the evening. Man, I wish I could find evening child care..

So again, I wait...

Monday, February 22, 2010

I have stuff to do, ya' know!

Hubby took the car to run some random errands. And i only have 15 minutes left on my phone with no $$ in sight. Soo I want to go to my mom's to use her phone to place a couple phone calls. Possibly before I pick up Seth at 12. I have a feeling it's not going to happen. Little frustrated right now. Why does the world seem to be working against me!?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A little good news on the horizon.

My friend Marva called today and told me that, per her neice, there is a 7-3 position open at a local long term care facility. Her neice happens to be a unit manager there. She gave me the name of who to ask for and I think she is going to give my name to whomever does the hiring so they can retrieve my resume. I applied there a few weeks ago, so all my info should be in someones e-mail!
I will be calling in the morning, so hopefully it works out. I try not to get my hopes up too high.
I will keep my fingers crossed...

Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown.

I believe I have addressed my issue with envy in the past but it seems to be something that I just can't shake.
Only now I envy basic life essentials that I see that other people have.. and I do not. I can't stand even watching" How it's Made" on the Science channel because I feel jealous that the people in the show making things have jobs. I envy people in line at McDonald's because, obviously, they must have cash from somewhere to buy their cheeseburger and Diet Coke.
Celebrities make me ill. I read that Tom Cruise is getting 20 million to star in the next "Mission Impossible" movie. Disgusting. I understand that he has an acting talent and that is what he gets paid for, but 20 mil? That's ridiculous. I don't think the rich and famous are "better" people in the world just because of the $$$ they have. But I do think it must make life much easier. that being said, why do so many end up in rehab?

A few years back I lived a life of plenty of excess. If I wanted something-I bought it. No need to save or scrimp. We took weekend vacations regularly, and nice out-of-state vacations yearly. We stayed in the nicest hotels and rented nice cars when we got to where we were going. We ate out much of the time and frequented the pub nightly. And boy do I miss the biweekly massages.

I always felt like people like myself, unemployed, and living off taxpayers, to be a burden on society. A waste of space that serves no productive purpose in the world.
Maybe , thats why I am where I am. God's teaching me a lesson about understanding the less fortunate. A bit of Karma, I suppose.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Welcome to the unemployment line.

I haven't been fired from a job since I was 15! And I haven't been without a job in as long as well. So what was I to do? Now I have two little boys and an unemployed spouse to support. My ex-coworkers were shocked at my termination. My friend Marva was simply pissed off. We had such a good time at work. We laughed alot. I liked my residents and they liked me. I knew their lives, their histories, their families. I knew their extensive medical histories since I had been taking care of many of them for years. I had taken care of resident's spouses, sisters, brothers, and even a mother and daughter. I had sat with dying residents that were all alone and remained with them until the end.
Maybe I was too comfortable in my position thinking that they wouldn't get rid of me. I honestly felt that regardless of my weaknesses, I was more of an asset to them than a liability. After all, I never, ever hurt or put any of my patients in harms way. Even with the issues that I were fired for. I never came close to hurting anyone. A CNA once told me that it's more important to work with your heart than your head. And maybe I wasn't using my head enough.

Immediately I filed for unemployment benefits. I thought for sure I would get them. I mean, I never stole anything or abused anybody. But I didn't.
The corporation stated that I failed or refused to perform job duties as per my job description- or something similar. And then slapped the term " misconduct" on me so they wouldn't have to pay.

I applied for every benefit that I could possibly receive, and of course, now I qualify for them. In as many years I have attempted to get any assistance possible only to be repeatedly told I make too much.

Now I can get my kids on Medicaid. I get WIC checks and yes, now I get food stamps and am applying for cash assistance- which I believe used to be Welfare. I even had to go to the Salvation army to pay my electric bill. Yes, I have now hit the bottom and become the kind of person I never, ever wanted to be. I am truly disgusted by myself.

But in the last few weeks I have applied for countless nursing jobs and am still waiting, waiting for responses. They each say they will get back to me in a week or two so here I wait. Two places told me to call them if they didn't call me this week, so that's two call s to make on monday and if those two places don't want me, I don't know. My optimism is fading. I know they look at my application and see " terminated" and that bothers them . Plus, I wonder what my prior employer is really saying about me. I am scared that i won't find work because of the firing. It's happened and I can't go back to change it. What now.

I guess I just keep waiting.

Good God it's been awhile!

I can't even attempt to reveiew everything taht has occurred over the last several months but I assure you that it has been more downs than ups, unfortunately. Late August, little Sean ended up in the hospital for a few days with H1N1. I honestly did not know he was as sick as he turned out to be. He was wheezy and feverish-not to mention lethargic. When i brought him to the Dr. , we did not even have to wait, we were brought right in and the nurse interrupted the Dr. with another patient to tend to him. Albuterol nebs didn't help, the epinephrine neb did but he only got that when Dr. decided to have him admitted. Blech, hospitals suck. It was a sad and lonely experience, poor Sean slept much of the time.
He did get his ear tubes placed in September and so far all has been good. A couple outer ear infections but nothing too crazy. He's talking better and feeling better. October, November, and December were a blur of never-ending stress. David's unemployment ran out just in time for the holidays. Wouldn't you figure?!
We also decided to divorce in December, David thanked me for ruining his holiday. Of course, divorce costs $$$. $$ that we don't have so it will happen eventually, maybe years from now.
I was counseled at work in early January regarding an issue that occurred in December with a patients skin issue that I forgot to document on. That was a big deal, but I guess I didn't realize how big. honestly, I have been distracted with all that is going on in my world. I opted to take a week off to get away from work and relax a bit.

Fast forward a couple weeks and suddenly I found myself fired from my job of the last nine years. they gave two tiny minor issues ( I wouldn't even consider them write- up worthy personally) and a couple bigger issues. One of which I honestly did not know I was doing wrong and one I neglected to follow through with an issue. The state surveyors were in the building and witnessed one of the issues so I am guessing that eliminating me was, perhaps, their "plan of correction". I was taken aside by my supervisors and told to go home, that I was suspended until they contacted me in a week. Scary, but still I had a job. I figured I would have a week off to destress.
Later, I received a call from my supervisor that she wanted to set up a meeting with me for the next morning. I asked if I was to be fired to do it on the phone. And she did.