Memories are weird.

Tis the season of endless Christmas songs. Last night I heard this Nat King Cole tune lightly wafting from the boys' stereo, alerting me that Thanksgiving is now over and Christmas season has begun. I stood in the hall listening quietly as it registered a part of my memory. Not as much the specific song, but the music. It brought me to many, many years ago. But not a specific memory,more like a feeling of a moment. A familiar  and comforting moment. It was a pleasant feeling. A feeling of being safe and happy. Oddly, enough I don't know exactly where or when. 

My Papaw died in 1985 of complications from Alzheimers disease. After he died, I remember finding tapes of Nat King Cole around my Mamaw's house after he died. I can only assume the memories of the Nat King Cole music is from my early years when he was alive.  I am not even sure. 

Strange how unusual things can trigger a memory. A song, a sound, even an aroma. Fortunately, mine are all good memories. Even if I can't picture it in my mind.

Seth

As a kid I never "oohed" or "awwed" over kids and babies. But I was a rather abnormal child. Oddly enough, I always knew I wanted to have children one day. There was nothing more appealing to me that spending my olden years surrounded by my kids and grandkids on holidays.

Seth was born in late 2004, the first of my three sons. And he is dramatically different from the other two.
He is me.
Actually, quite a bit better than me.

He's very intelligent and loves to read. So much so that he has gotten in trouble for reading too often in school instead of paying attention.

He loves to talk to anyone, yet is somewhat socially awkward. This makes me sad.

He is highly anxious and worries about anything and everything. He is extremely anxious when it comes to Joshua. He is so concerned about something bad happening to Joshua. As a fellow sufferer of anxiety, I try to help him with calming techniques as much as I can.

Seth is extremely sensitive and easily upset, especially at school. If he doesn't understand something he might cry out of frustration. One kid that was in a class with him said he wished he had earplugs.
:( Teachers can't stand him because he needs extra encouragement and reassurance( not their fault, they have a lot of kids to tend to and they don't have the time)
Seth becomes obsessed with things he is interested in. Lately it is a Youtube series called "Battle for Dream Island" or something. He has printed out the characters and cut them out and pasted them on popsicle sticks and has them perform episodes, rolling dice to determine the outcome. He knows their personalities and voices.

He loves non-traditional or typically girl toys. he often wonders why the cool toys are for girls. He loves My Little Pony and wants a Bratz Doll. But at the same time he is extremely insecure in the fact that he enjoys these toys. I told him that he can play with whatever he wants, toys are toys. Sean sometimes picks on him and I shut that down quickly.

I feel very protective over Seth. Because he is so much me.
Sean will be fine in life, but I am more concerned about Seth because he is so quirky and unusual. In his adulthood those traits can allow him to excel, but until then, other kids (and teachers) tend not as accepting of his differences.

He saw a psychologist a few years ago that determined that Seth simply "marches to the beat of his own drummer"
And I love that about him. I hope he's never forced to change.