Im certain that much of my poor choices result from my mental illness issues...or whatever causes my brain to think differently. Addiction isssues, emotional abuse, family dysfunction, whatever. It most likely goes back generations to some mental illnesses along the way.
It's actually sad that we have therapy and meds but not quite any cure for mental illness.
I'm miserable much of the time. I fake it to try to "fake it til I make it" sometimes without success, sometimes with success
But sometimes I fantasize about death. And one person who I used to talk to in depth about this stuff is no longer in contact with me due to to some personal issues on their end. So I'm extra lost. I mean nobody wants to talk about depression. People want to feel good right?
If I had a pile of drugs in front of me I'd take em all simply to feel better or die. It's whatever anymore.
