My baby is normal!

Fonda and I drove to Sarasota today for the appt. with the perinatologist and the Level II u/s, not a bad drive but I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my belly and my stomach felt mildy upset. When i got into the U/S room the tech took one look at the baby's kidneys and said how normal everything looked. She even checked many other parts of the baby and didn't find anything at all that might be abnormal. I am absolutely relieved. All is good with the world.

Husband rant

David doesn't work on Monday. He thought it wouldn't be wise for us to go to the appt. in Sarasota together in case there is bad news. The both of us are a little stressed out and it probably wouldn't be good.
I suggested that he watch Seth for part of the time so my mom wouldn't have to be here so long and he wasn't happy about that.
"I'm in agony and I thought I would be able to take a day off!" WTF? a day off? Hello? I'm very achy and tired,d o I ask for a "day off" I think I deserve one as well if he does.
many days he was off work in the week and I still had my mom come watch Seth so he could do stuff around the house. He gets upset when I question him about sitting around playing video games. I've let him have it way too easy for too long. He goes to band practice twice a week and stops at the pub a couple times a week after work. Since when do I go out anywhere after work to " relax"?
When do I get any time to "relax" Especially when many times he's out all day and doesn't get home until 1 hour before Seth goes to bed then he whines about wanting some nookie? Well, I had a busy day and once Seth is in bed I want some alone time. What has he done for ME lately????

End of rant.Thank you very much.

I have scheduled my appointment!

For Monday october 30 at 2:30. It's going to be an hour and a half, ick. My sister is going to try to find a sitter for Amber so she can go along with me. David will be working and my mom will be watching Seth. I hope she can go, I don't want to be alone. Especially if i get bad news.
Today's weather was lovely! High in the mid-70s! Seth and I went to get the stroller and then we went to the playground and the grocery store THEN we went to the mall with Fonda and Amber so we have been very busy. But it was fun. :)

Prenatal Hydronephrosis

From the research I have done and the very limited information I received from the Dr. office I think this may be the issue. Apparently it's the most common problem found on prenatal scans with about 42,000 each year. Half of those turn out to be nothing but the other half has a variety of diagnoses, most likely an obstruction or a kink in the collecting tube in the kidney( I really wish the Dr. office would have given me proper names for things! I may not know much but I am quite familiar with anatomy and physiology of the human body)
Since my baby's tube is even so slightly enlarged I am guessing that maybe it isn't completely obstructed? I hope it's nothing.
The perinatologist office hasn't called yet to set up and appt. I really wish they'd hurry up because I am stressed out! Anytime I talk to anyone about this kidney thing I start to cry. Even if i start to think too hard about it I cry. I wanna get past this so I can be normal again!!!!
Logically, I tell myself that it's probably nothing and it's extremely minor AND I am going to a very capable Dr. who will be able to give me advise. But the mom in me just worries and feels so sad because there's is something inperfect about my baby. David even said "How are we going to financially manage caring for a child with special medical needs?"
Hopefully we won't have to.

Fortunately my sister went to the same perinatologist during her pregnancy ( because her quad screen showed high probability for Down's syndrome) and she says he is excellent and the staff was knowledgable, besides it's in a very neat facility in Sarasota. At least she''ll be able to tell me where to go.

20 weeks 4 days appt. update.

Heart rate is excellent at around 160 and i measure properly. My BP is 100/60 and my weight is a whopping 134lbs. ( Whopping for me ,at least) I have gained 17 pounds!!! Yikes!
My U/S showed that one of the tubes in one of the kidneys is a little enlarged so i am being sent to a Dr. in Sarasota for a Level II U/S to get a better look. Apparently much of the time it turns out to be nothing. I didn't feel so upset at the time but now..I can't get it out of my head! I feel so weepy and irrational today.
Hopefully it'll pass, I don't like feeling this way.

I don't wanna know how much I weigh!

I put on some new jeans this morning and turned around to see how they looked in the mirror. WOW! My butt is huge! I want to know but at the same time I am scared to know how much I weigh. Last time I checked I weighed about 132 or so. It doesn't sound like alot..considering I am 5 months pregnant ,but it seems to look horrible on me! Maybe it's my warped body image? I've been under weight all of my life( just by 5-10 lbs, not alot) so being proper weight is difficult for me to accept? Many people might feel like I am an idiot because there are plenty of people out there with legitimate weight issues and here I am worrying about pregnancy weight.
But honestly I finding gaining weight very difficult to accept! I am so afraid of being " fat" that I can't stand to gain a pound.
I can't stand to have any extra flab or jiggle anywhere. After Seth I had a difficult time dealing with the extra belly skin after pregnancy. It's not like my body was ever perfect. David has always loved my body, noone in my life has evr made fun of it..exept for being to thin in elementary school ( that was way before I had body image issues..that was simply genetics and high metabolism)

I still look in the mirror, pregnant or not, and all I see is a fat girl. :(

I need another U/S

Yesterday I called the place that did my U/S and complained about the tech giving away the gender. They apologized profusely and said they would take care of it. Later that day the tech calls me at work telling me that she needs more pics of the face for the Dr. I told her I didn't want her to do my U/S and that I would like to schedule it elsewhere. So I am going to the hospital to have it done on Monday at 4.
My mom is going with me this time. You know, last time I had to have my 20 week U/S done twice due to some heart pics being omitted. This is annoying.
Now I am scared there is something wrong with my baby's face. I just hate having tests done!

Here's a pic...

Ultrasound today..

Apparently everything looks good. I am measuring one day ahead so that would make my due date March 1 but I won't change anything, might as well stick with march 2. I saw legs , arms, hands, head, eyes, heart ,you know. Everything was there. I'll find out for sure from the Dr. next week.
We told the lady that we didn't want to know the gender but she immediately said " I accidentally saw the gender" and referred to the baby as "he " throughout the entire scan. Whe I complained ( after correcting her several times) she said that she calls every baby "he". Somehow I don't quite believe it. We got a pic that seems to show the genitals in full glory. Why the hell would she do that???
Tomorrow I am bringing the pic back and will ask someone there what exactly i see in the pic. If they say it's what i think i am going to complain. This is my last baby and David and I really wanted a surprise!! Now we know it's a boy.

Am I upset because I was secretly hoping for a girl and I am disappointed? I don't know. I actually DO feel a little sad even though i told everyone I really wanted a boy. Now I will never have a daughter. I feel like I should just be happy that it's growing and healthy. Pretty shallow,I know.

Seth's Two!

One...Two...three... that's about as high as he can count these days. He will count just about anything but if you ask him how old he is he doesn't know. Eh, He'll catch on eventually.
We had an awesome party and my mom's house. Mom and Jack, David, Fonda, Jason, Amber, Mamaw, Dad, Sean and Heather were all there. Dad had forgotten but I called to remind him and he came right over. Sean and Heather got there late as well but the important thing was they were there.
Seth got alot of neat stuff, a couple trucks, some clothes, some art stuff and coloring books, a tricycle from David and I. So far he's been having a blast with everything. Oh, and we had tons of food. It was great! Seth ate alot more than he usually does for lunch and he really enjoyed the cake. It was a Publix cake with the "Cars" theme ( "Cars" is Seth's new obsession..the movie not neccisarily ANY car) Seth immediately stuck his fingers in the frosting. We all sang "Happy Birthday" and Seth just beamed! He was absolutely thrilled when evryone was singing! When we clapped he clapped also. We've been trying to teach him the birthday song for a month now so he was quite familiar with it but I didn't expect him to be sooo excited when we sang it.
Then we all hang out in Mom's back yard while Seth ran around getting good and dirty. We all had a good time but when we got home I could tell Seth was exhausted..and so was I.
I can't believe I am the mom of a two year old. And I wouldn't want it any other way..

chicken tenders, deviled eggs, cookies..

assorted veggies with ranch dip and fruit. Oh, and of course, cake. That is the menu for Seth's birthday party. Yum yum. Now I just have to get a birthday present for him. Probably Friday when David gets paid...godness knows, there isn't much $ left after buying all the groceries! I can't believe what we've spent! A lot less than other people, I'm sure, but a 2nd birthday only comes around once and everyone loves an excuse for family to get together and EAT! At least my family..oddly enough we are a thin bunch but we sure like food! Saturday should be loads of fun.

Seth loves halloween decorations.

Maybe because he was born in the month of Halloween, maybe because his Dad loves halloween so much, in any case: let me tell a cute story.
We have a plastic light-up jack-o-lantern and a rubbery light-up skull we set on the table in front of the front window at Halloween. Seth calls the skull " Scary guy" and the pumpkin " scary pumpkin". So he is fascinated by the two objects. He turns the skull to the pumpkin and says " hi scary pumpkin" then turns the pumpkin to the skull ans says " hi scary guy". This conversation goes on and on without much variation. I think it's pretty cute.
Every time we are at the store and he sees a ghoulish Halloween decoration it's always " Scary guy" But he isn't scared really. More fascinated.
This halloween will be loads of fun, I can tell.

Seth's birthday is getting closer..

I ordered a cool cake from Publix and invited all kinds of family, we got party plates and cups. I just need to get birthday presents. I can't believe my boy will be 2, time is going so fast!
I can't believe that my boy has gone from the crankiest non sleeping little baby to the happiest, most pleasant, excellent sleeping boy. I keep wondering when the terrible twos kick in because right now he is super cute. He didn't get any of our moodiness, thank God!

My son is strange.

He is stranger than strange. He constantly places his matchbox cars on the edge of something with one or two wheels hanging off the edge then he comes to me and insists that i see that his car is " stuck" . He does this over and over constantly placing his little cars in constant peril. Weird.
He also has decided to stop napping, and, boy, would I like a nap. I am worn out by him!
I want to go to the mall to get some clothes that fit but I cannot go with Seth because I have to try them on and I just don't think that would work out. David is stopping at the pub and then it didn't sound as if he was keen on the idea of going to the mall with me so maybe I will just leave the two of them here and i will go...alone!

Misery

I went to the Dr. today to find out the results of my cultures and fortunately they were both neg. Dr. thinks I had a low grade staph infection. It's clearing up nicely now. But that's not making me miserable.
I feel good, I am sleeping well, everything should be okay,right? Lately it seems I can't stop worrying about everything!
-I don't have any maternity clothes that fit, they are all too big so now I need to buy smaller ones but i don't have any money until tomorrow! WAAH!
- I want to re-do my kitchen but I have to get rid of David's glass and shot glass collection and I don't have anywhere to put them so i have to keep looking at them.,WAAH!
- I want David to fix up the garage so we can get the computer room ready for the baby before it's born ( in 5 months) but he keeps dragging his feet and nothing ever gets done and I'm tired of him starting projects that he doesn't finish.WAAHH!
- The cat has tapeworm but she refuses to take her pill and meanwhile she disgusts me and I don't want her near me. WAAH
- I am so tired of fleas! We need to spray the yard for pests but I ( again) don't have money for it.WAAH
- I'm tired of David not picking up after himself. I'm tired of being the maid.WAAH.
- I deposited $50 in the bank and they charged us $33 for overdraft fees so now we are still broke and it's all my fault and I'm tired of being behind on bills. I know we over spend but there is always something that we NEED. I wish someone else would deal with my finances. WAAH
-I wanted to schedule my U/S as close to David's current job as possible so he could get there easily but now he says he might not be able to make it. I'm pissed about that. WAAH.
- I feel like such a bad parent because I am so stressed out lately.

I even had a lovely massage last night but it was only a very temporary fix. I feel tense as ever.
I think I need a day at a spa or something. Seth is such a good boy and all he wants is for me to watch "Finding Nemo" with him but I am too busy feeling sorry for my miserable self that i can't relax. I cried at work yesterday because the computer wasn't working and I was frustrated. What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't wanna find Nemo anymore!

This is Seth's new obsession. From morning until night he says " Nemo, Nemo!" He will watch that movie over and over all day. Yes, it's a cute movie and it's beautiful to look at but i wish he'd have some variety.

My most recent appointment...

Was last Wednesday. Everything was normal, normal, normal. Good BP, urine was negative, fetal heartbeat was superb. I am measuring just right. But I have gained 11 lbs. since I found out I was pregnant. Ick. I need to S L O W down so i don't end up as big as a house. I just feel so hungry all the time. I can't stop...Food is just SO GOOD!
I also asked the Doc about the bug bite on my back. I first noticed it last Sunday at work, it was a rather large welt that was quite irritated by my bra strap so it kept bugging me. By Wed. it hadn't gone down so my OB suggested I go to a general Dr. in case I requred antibiotics. At the walk- in clinic they weren't sure what it was so they did cultures and ,of course, gave me antibiotics. When i went back on friday the viral culyres weren't back yet but the Dr. told me to put vit E and aloe on it because the skin was cracked. Right now it itches like mad. It's still a bit red and slightly raised. Have to go back to Dr. on Wed. Hopefully it's gone by then.

I feel better.

After a bathed Seth I chased his naked self throught he house pretending like I couldn't catch him to dress him. We were laughing hysterically! I finally "caught" him and dressed him on the bed and then he proceded to bury me in all the pillows on the bed and jump on them. I haven't laughed so hard in a while! Laughter IS the best medicine. Meanwhile david is outside mowing, edging, trimming, cleaning, organizing,etc.
I may not have alot of money but I have a great husband and the most awesome kid around!!!

i am the biggest loser.

I paid $160.00 worth of bills that I don't have.I miscalculated and now I am screwed. Usually any overdraft comes off of my credit card but that is maxed as well. I just paid $200.00 on it but that all went to finance charges and late fees. So there goes that option. I was ready to deposit all of Seth's piggy bank money but my mom said she'd would lend me the money, so i am going to deposit it first thing on Monday. I totally suck and I just want to cry because I am so ashamed. We had plenty of money too we just bought too much stuff and then it was gone!
Then I yelled at Seth because he has been whining nonstop for the last couple hours and I have had it!!!! You see, he refused to nap today and now I have to pay the price. He's grumpy and I'm cranky. Thank goodness David is here to straighten us out!
Anyway I highly dislike myself right now. I am an idiot.

Anniversary dinners, eye Drs. and good health..

On friday evening we ate at Porto Bellos in Burnt Store marina. We dropped $80 but it was totally worth it. The food was wonderful, presentation was lovely, service great. I gobbled up a beautiful filet mignon and wonderful mashed potatoes. I don't remember what David had,I was too busy eating. These days i am all about food.
The more the better!I'm feeling so good i forget I am pregnant. I have energy and an enormous appetite. My skin is clearing up and my headaches have disappeared. I don't feel irritable and sleepy all the time..and yes, I can sleep at night! I wish my entire pregnancy was this great.
I have this overwhelming desire to redo the house. i have so many plans but, unfortunately, not enough money to actually purchase the house stuff I want. I have found some nice outlet and switch plates that i want to put in the kitchen and i would like to get a nice wallpaper border to place around the top of the wall in the kitchen. I'd like to find something with some grape vines or something. If i could get a china cabinet for Davids glass collection then i could place some fake ivy or vines across the top of the cabinets. I really want to go for that whole italian restaraunt feel,you know? maybe at K mart i could find some inexpensive stuff.
I just need to get David to finish tiling the walls and countertops in the kitchen. It drives me nuts how he starts something and doesn't finish for a year. I hate to be a nag. Heck, if i knew how to tile,I 'd do it myself.
My eye dr. appt. went well. My eyes ARE a little worse than a year ago but the Dr. thought maybe it was related to my pregnancy. I guess my eye pressure is still down though. I really don't want Glaucoma at a young age.
Seth is sleeping to i'm going to eat my sundae. I am going to be HUGE at this rate. But the bad foods taste so good! Eh, I am almost 15 weeks pregnant and I've only gained 5 lbs. That's not so bad is it? Unfortunately it's all in my butt! maybe if i do some extra walking around the neigborhood i can keep my butt in near normal proportions. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I have permission to morph into a 200 pound blob. I want to gain wait at a proper rate and be healthy. But i still want that sundae!