How am I doing today?

I'm going to jump forward into 2021 for a minute. I read back at some of these posts and many of them are talking about financial troubles. Why was I in such a financial mess? I wonder why? I think I was having too much money taken out for benefits and I didn't know any better. I didn't know anything about managing money so I just opted for the best family plan for insurance. I think that took a huge cut of it. Thank you USA!!!!! Fuck you USA and your health insurance nightmare making people broke. Single payer is where it's at. Then it wouldn't have eaten up my entire paycheck and left me poor for half my life. Anyway. I only have David and I on my insurance here and the boys and Jackie have NH healthy families Medicaid. If it weren't for that I'd be broke now, too. 

I'm glad that I'm able to live and survive and make sure we have what we need now. The bills are all paid and we never are late on our rent. I never have to worry if today is the day we are going to be evicted from our house. Let me tell you that's a horrible feeling. It's a constant feeling of being unsettled. I try not to ever take it for granted that we have a house of our own. We've been here for quite awhile but I still love that feeling of knowing that I have an actual place to live to keep my family safe and warm. 

This is a picture of Josh when we went for our snow walk yesterday. He was taking a snow nap. Could I love this kid any more? We had so much fun and we laughed a lot. At one point we were walking and I had my arm around his shoulder and he had his arm around my waist and I was just so happy. He is just a happy, happy kid and I hope he always stays that way. He seems to have survived the last few years ok. 

This is the view down the road that I took while Josh was taking his snow nap. I wanted to get the mountains in the background. The snow is so beautiful.

I never thought I would be a mom to a transgender daughter but here I am. 🏳️‍⚧️ This morning as I was making Jackie's bed looking at her rainbow flag in the corner, I thought about all the stories of gay and trans people who have come out to their families only to be kicked out of their houses or disowned by their families and I can't imagine how a family could do that to their own child. How can you raise and love a child only to disown them due to their sexual orientation or gender orientation? I just can't imagine doing that. When Jackie came out to me I felt fear for her, fear that she would experience hatred and bullying. But that's it. I love her just the same as I always did. And I always will. I will stick up for my daughter until the end of my days. 

Elliot and Gnatty. Two peas in a pod. The stars of our household. Big fat Elliot and little Gnatty. We all love them so much. Silly kitties. I'm saying this as I smell one had a stinky poop in the next room. gross.