Tinder

While I was at the resort I had heard that one of the guys that worked there had been asking whether I was single. And here's the kicker, he was 29! He thought I was much younger than my actual age of 39. 

Well, I was thoroughly flattered since I had no clue any man might find me attractive other than my husband. 

I had been going through so much in my life between work and kids and drugs and the arrest and all the stress after it that I guess I hadn't really looked in a mirror and noticed myself in a long while. 

Over the years guys had hit on me here and there and I didn't pay much attention but it had been a very long time since anyone had noticed me. David had always complimented me but I always felt like that was not as genuine since he is my husband, Sort of when your mom tells you you're smart, it's just something they say because they love you. Not because it's necessarily true. 

Suddenly I realized I'm not all bad to look at. I was at a good weight, nice and thin, above average breasts and a nice butt and long curly red hair and I like to think my face looks ok. I looked at my younger pictures and I looked alright but I glowed up somewhere along the way. I was thinking if only I looked this way and felt this confident way back in my younger years I would have made some different choices. 

But did I take this newfound confidence home? No.

 I had been feeling almost asexual for a long time. Nothing excited me much. I felt so blah in the sex department for many years. But Garrett made me feel feelings that I hadn't felt in a very long time. I guess I wasn't asexual. I just was turned on by younger men!

But I needed to get Garrett off my mind and the best solution I thought of was to find a different 25 year old to have sex with. I'd heard about Tinder so I thought I'd try it out. 

I downloaded the app and set up my account and set it for ages 20-30. I honestly didn't think I would get very many matches because I was much older. I was thinking that no young guy wants a 38 year old woman. I never lied about anything. My age, my marital status, nothing. 

Much to my surprise I got tons of matches! Tinder was easy! I started talking to guys right away. Little bit of small talk and I told them what I wanted. Apparently lots of younger guys like older girls. I later learned that it's like a bucket list thing for guys to have an older woman, and a married one is even better. The hard part was finding a place to meet up since my house was not available. I didn't know I could be picky at first so I had my mileage set for pretty far away. For the first few times I had to drive pretty far. Then I started staying closer to home. 

Anyway. I got to be quite the Tinder expert over time but lets go back to the first one. Chaz

I took this picture at the resort in the mirrored top of a canopy bed. I made the mistake of posting it on Facebook and a coworker ratted me out to the boss and I got in a lot of trouble.