Welcome to the unemployment line.

I haven't been fired from a job since I was 15! And I haven't been without a job in as long as well. So what was I to do? Now I have two little boys and an unemployed spouse to support. My ex-coworkers were shocked at my termination. My friend Marva was simply pissed off. We had such a good time at work. We laughed alot. I liked my residents and they liked me. I knew their lives, their histories, their families. I knew their extensive medical histories since I had been taking care of many of them for years. I had taken care of resident's spouses, sisters, brothers, and even a mother and daughter. I had sat with dying residents that were all alone and remained with them until the end.
Maybe I was too comfortable in my position thinking that they wouldn't get rid of me. I honestly felt that regardless of my weaknesses, I was more of an asset to them than a liability. After all, I never, ever hurt or put any of my patients in harms way. Even with the issues that I were fired for. I never came close to hurting anyone. A CNA once told me that it's more important to work with your heart than your head. And maybe I wasn't using my head enough.

Immediately I filed for unemployment benefits. I thought for sure I would get them. I mean, I never stole anything or abused anybody. But I didn't.
The corporation stated that I failed or refused to perform job duties as per my job description- or something similar. And then slapped the term " misconduct" on me so they wouldn't have to pay.

I applied for every benefit that I could possibly receive, and of course, now I qualify for them. In as many years I have attempted to get any assistance possible only to be repeatedly told I make too much.

Now I can get my kids on Medicaid. I get WIC checks and yes, now I get food stamps and am applying for cash assistance- which I believe used to be Welfare. I even had to go to the Salvation army to pay my electric bill. Yes, I have now hit the bottom and become the kind of person I never, ever wanted to be. I am truly disgusted by myself.

But in the last few weeks I have applied for countless nursing jobs and am still waiting, waiting for responses. They each say they will get back to me in a week or two so here I wait. Two places told me to call them if they didn't call me this week, so that's two call s to make on monday and if those two places don't want me, I don't know. My optimism is fading. I know they look at my application and see " terminated" and that bothers them . Plus, I wonder what my prior employer is really saying about me. I am scared that i won't find work because of the firing. It's happened and I can't go back to change it. What now.

I guess I just keep waiting.