The following is copied and pasted from a message board I belong to. I posted it late Wednesday 6-12-07. I felt it was significant enough to include in my blog but I just couldn't type all of that, I even left mispellings and punctuation errors. Even re-reading it is very upsetting to me and I still feel like I want to throw up:
"Please no flaming because that is the last thing I need.I was at the mall today and Seth ran away from the play area, I had to chase him but in the process I left Sean in the stroller at the play area. I shouldn't have left him but i wasn't thiking I just wanted to catch Seth before he got out of sight-he moves very fast.Anyway I asked my mom for advice about how to stop this behavior- running away, not listening, talking back, etc. He has been actiing up lately. First off, my mom says I "fucked up" and she would have slapped me for leaving the stroller( ok I deserved that) but then she says that Seth is acting out because we don't give him enough attention and that we are bad parents and we give all the attention to Sean But wait-I am a bad parent to Sean too because I put him on my grandma's bed for a nap the other day and he could have fallen off. (he doesn't roll yet and he's not even close) She says David doesn't pay any attention to Seth while I'm at work because she came over one day and he had a very soggy diaper on. She says that Seth is ALWAYS good for HER even though he fights me to get changed, get dressed, brush his teeth, etc. I am also a bad mom because I told him he was a bad boy at my mom's because he dumped out all of the fish food into the fish tank. Then she says that I should pack him up and she will come get him tomorrow and I shouldn't fight her about the matter. I also might add that she was obviously drunk during this entire conversation. I am so scared she is actually going to try to take him tomorrow and I am doing a double shift so I have warned David not to let her in. I know that even if she called HRS about me they wouldn't let het take him considering she gets drunk daily and she is on disability. But David and I are under alot of stress with him being unemployed and our financial situation.Do you think I should be worried? I am so scared I feel like I want to throw up."
Now I am fortunate that nothing has come of this issue since that day. She hasn't called and certainly hasn't shown up at my house to take my son away from me. I am hoping that it was simply alcohol talking. For many years I have been just trying to avoid my mom when she drinks in the evening and it hasn't been any issue. If I don't really see her that way then I don't have to deal with it. But when she threatens to take my boy I think it's a big problem.
Now my husband enjoys his beer as well. But he's down to two beers a day. By far better than what he used to drink once upon a time. But we also can't afford it either so it's forcing him to cut down ( one of the very few positive things that has come out of us being poor lately) I am proud of him for it.
But( and this is no excuse) David always tolerated his alcohol very well. I cannot even tell when he has been drinking unless it was an excessive amount ( which is once or twice a year)I always remind him to make sure he eats something and paces himself-drinking water inbetween beers as well. And he has taken all of my advice since he loves me. I know I cannot expect him to quit.
My mom cannot handle her alcohol. She turns into a different person. Sometimes argumentative and she always slurs. It makes me very sad.
I know I will not get any brownie points from anyone for writing all of this but I am just so tired of holding it all in. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it except my grandmother.
I am hoping this all blows over. I know my sons love me very much. They are very happy and Seth is very active and social. He loves to laugh and give hugs and kiss boo boos. If David and I were such bad parents I am sure Seth wouldn't be so well adjusted. He will just have to adjust to sharing his parents with his new brother. There is no way around it.
I never thought I would live such a dysfunctional life.
2 comments:
Jen I know we are on rocky terms and you probably hate me, but i just want to let you know, i think you are a great mother. You are handeling things the best you can. There are WAYYY more parents out there in this situation that would just give up and run from the situation. But as long as your kids eat, sleep, have diapers and love you are doing all you can. About seth, ive only been a mom for a few months but, just go with instinct. Maybe do a reward system. If you have errands or want to go somewhere tell him if he is a good boy you will buy him a treat. Bring him to the dollar tree and let him pick out a toy. Disciplin (sp?) should start but you are doing fine. Thats why they call it terrible twos.. But just realize in a few months he will be three, then shortly after that 4... Each age comes with something that is difficult. But personally I'd go with your gut. As for your mom, she cant take him, and if she tried, well She wouldnt get far. As far as seth being jealous, well maybe you and dave should take turn going out just the two of you or them. Dave can take him fishing or something, or to the beach. All of theose are free and fun for an energetic child. Keep doing what you are doing because, you're doing great. If it were me in your situation i'd have cracked a long time ago.. If you feel like youve hit rock bottom it can only get better. :)
P.S. You running after seth and leaving sean, an accident. It happens. Your instinct was to run for seth, And it was what it was, alot of ppl would do the same. dont sweat it. And walt has scolded me a few times about putting Drew too close to the edge, and he does roll over. oops. We all make mistakes, It happens but any mom knows we give our lives for our children.
Post a Comment