Faith No More - Midlife Crisis

One of the best songs EVER!Does it make any sense at all? Do I care? It's a kickin' song.

Free food rocks

Yesterday the nursing staff at work was ( were?) treated to Olive Garden for nurses week. It was superb, of course. And then today we were treated to a "fish fry" for having the most participation is some employee survey late last year. It was also superb.
I sure wissh my work fed me lunch every day. Then again I might end up a bit on the large side. Did I mention that I had two pieces of cake today? One was sent by a home health agency for nurses week and the other was at the fish fry.
I love cake. ( We want cake! Where's our cake?) :)
I got my stimulus check in the bank today, Yippeee, I get to go stimulate the economy tomorrow!
I love stimulating the economy. I wish I could stimulate it more and give money to my friends and family so they could go stimulate it as well. Oh, good times.

It's a beautiful day!

Seth seems to proclain this on a regular basis. He seems to find the bright side in most things.
I am quite certain he cannot truly be related to David nor I.
Sean is quite the little ball of sunshine as well.
How did two blah pessimists who are prone to depressive episodes and extreme moodiness create two little exceptionally happy little people? Is it because they are young yet? Or are we doing something right?
I hope they always stay happy. :)
I love my little smiley guys.

Motherhood is not for wimps!

The youngest occupants of my household were formerly known as Boy 1 and Boy 2. Eh, it kinda stuck and I always seem to call them by their incorrect names-good thing I don't have more than two!
Now they are Monster 1 and Monster 2. Today was awful!! How awful, you ask? (Since inquiring minds want to know!) Horribly awful..
While Sean was napping I was laying down on my bed. Seth was playing with his cars on me. I was " Mommy Mountain". While playing this game I got smacked in the head twice witht the car. Damn, that hurt. Not his fault though. Sean slept only briefly and woke up with a God-awful smelling poopie diaper. It also appeared as if a tornado had just passed through his room. While I fed him his snack Seth made a horrible mess in his room.
Then I made the ridiculously stupid decision to spackle and paint a little in Seth's room. While I was spackling Seth stole my paintbrush and Sean took my screwdiver....Then while I was touching up with the paint Seth climbed up on hte table and stole the spackle which Sean then "painted" on the TV, coffee table, windows, oh and there were plenty of the chunks on the floor. Then he was trying to eat the stuff,too. While I was trying to clean that Sean was making body prints in the paint, destroying his nice outfit.
I threw them both in the bath.
Then all evening it seemed while I was cleaning up after one kid the other was trying to climb on the kitchen table or open the cat food bag or destroy something. I went into the bathroom for one whole minute and I hear screaming from the living room. Who knows what happened but there wasn't any blood, so it couldn't have been that bad...It was constant. Just when I think I've locked them out of the proper rooms and put everything hazardous out of reach they have found some new way to detroy something, or someone is sitting on the top edge of the couch or turning his sippy cup upside down to watch the juice drop, drop, drop out until there is a big ol' puddle.
Good God, these two will be the death of me.
They are super duper loving and huggy boys, and insanely happy, which is how they always redeem themselves after running me ragged. But I don't know how people have done it all of these years, since the beginning of time , without going a little nutty.
I need a vacation from these two. Eh, maybe simply a nice massage will do...

To all of my fellow nurses..

On a sad note..

Two of my long term care patients have had children die on Thursday. One of which was one of the Hager twins from "Hee Haw" that has sorta been in the news( if you really look). The mom has been very upset since she found out yesterday(obviously). The other one is the daughter of another lady I take care of. She used to come in almost daily and spend at least one meal a day with her mom. Very nice lady. Both were sudden deaths.
I have seen my share of death in my line of work and I haven't been too affected by it. When you see someone suffer you feel almost relieved when they go. Besides, everyone I take care of is very elderly-so they have had long and fruitful lives.
But the thought of outliving a child really bothers me. Whether the child is 6 or 60 I don't know how I would handle it. And I hope I never have to find out.:(

Are you old?

Seth has to ask this of every poor elderly soul he sees. It's horribly embarrassing. Fortunately, much of the time they don't hear him well enough to know what he actually said. I've been trying to tell him that older people don't necessarily like to be reminded of the fact. Unless, they are 90 and then they like to brag about it.
Today Seth found a dead bug on the windowsill. He claimed it was dead because his wife killed him because he was too mean. She also lives in the bushes outside the window. How does he think up this stuff?

Now showing on ESPN 8 "the ocho"!

Yesterday the boys and I went to the Redfish tounament festival thing going on in Punta Gorda. Now, apparently, according to the newspaper, this event was televised. I wonder who in the heck would televise it and even more puzzling, who would watch it?
A bunch of guys go out in boats and catch a redfish in the harbor and then they weigh them ( the fish not the guys) to see who caught the biggest redfish. Boooring. Well, I did go to the festival, but I was just looking for something to do outside on a lovely day. Seth liked to look at all of the colorful boats- they all have ads on them from different companies so they were very pretty. Seth also wanted to see the fish but they were too far away, besides I don't think that he was clear on the concept that the fish were not in the water. I'm not sure if they release the fish after they are weighed or not. We walked around the park aimlessly and Sean napped in the stroller. Of course, by the time we got home he was all slept out and wanted to stay awake..
After Sean's nap we are going to the beach, it's another spectacular day so I am going to make David get his buns out of bed and go with us! I just cannot stand staying in the house on a day such as this.

Hilarity at its finest

One of the funniest Adam Sandler movie moments ever!

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt..

Sean is now sporting a lovely laceration on his L eyebrow.
While Seth and Sean were wrestling in the clean clothes somehow Sean's head smacked into the rocking chair in his room. So in a mere millisecond laughter become crying. I was rather unsure whether he needed a couple stiches, you would think I would be able to assess that adequately being a nurse and all, but I guess not. Anyway, I called my personal ask-a-nurse, my mom ( who is also on my speed dial as 1-800-icancook, 1-800-iknowkids, and 1-800-iknowstuff) who advised me to simply place a butterfly strip over it to hold the skin edges together since it wasn't very big. While I was on the phone Sean was happily destroying a birthday card on the table like nothing had ever happened. So I knew he wasn't going to be emotionally scarred for life.
I guess I was more afraid that his cute little face would be marred for life but I suppose his eyebrow will cover the scar.
Good God, I'm tired. I'd like to take one whole day to simply catch up on sleep. How long until I can retire?

Did I ever tell you that I dislike change?

I like everything same, same, same!!! But today I got crazy and decided to stray from my usual hair dye color- Loreal's Red Penny. The cream kind. I got Loreal Ferie bright auburn which pretty much turned my hair, um, brownish red. Mostly brownish. I assure you that the girl on the box had much redder hair.
I dyed David's hair as well, I suppose it will just give him some highlights.
That's what I get for changing.
Earlier today a patient made the wonderful remark that I appeared to be about 20 or 22. She was surprised to hear I was 30. She is now my favorite patient.
Anyway, I suppose with this much darker hair I probably look 40. Blech.

It that time of year again! Yard work, Dreyer style.

We ( All four of us) have been working hard fixing up the yard and our garden. No easy task with two little guys running around! David and I mostly take turns doing the work while the other chases the kids. Seth isn't too bad but Sean likes to run into the road, play in the neighbors yards, play in antpiles, splash in the birdbath, eat mulch, eat dirt, eat rocks, eat flowers, eat weeds...I'm seeing a pattern here.
Seth is content to play in the sandbox or with his bubbles. He even helps pick some weeds and pick up plant trimmings and put them in the garbage can. He tries.
Now I have a lovely garden of various herbs, a few veggies, and marigolds. My landscaping looks nice for once-minus the less that beautiful lawn but we can't really water it these days. Water shortage and all..

It's going to take some work to keep it looking nice and no task is simple with a 1 year old and a 3 year old hanging around. Isn't it funny that the two of them will follow Mother Hen (me) around the house all day but as soon as I open the door they will run in opposite directions away from me?

And now for something a little different...

The Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way - Apparently this band is big in the UK but I haven't heard much from them here. Wonder why. I like them. :)

And now by special request..Little Einsteins!"

David is now taking song requests, just so you know. Yesterday Seth requested the Little Einsteins theme song and amazingly enough, David figured out out to play it on his guitar in, oh, 5 seconds and sing much of the song to Seth's great delight. Seth's hand suddenly morphed into a spaceship and he ran all around the room making it fly. This morning Seth requested I sing it. Sorry kid, no can do.
Today is the first day in my recent history that bedtime hasn't been a horrible, painful, sordid affair for all parties involved. Sean actually went to sleep without crying and jumping out of bed several times and Seth was content to merely finish "reading" his books in his room quietly and them putting himself in bed. Without crying and screaming.
I guess I'll have to take them to the mall playground at 7 PM every day. Heck, it seemed to do the trick.
Sean's problem may be the fact that he's got two molars coming in, just a theory though. Maybe that's it. Seth on the other hand, he's just a night owl like his mom and dad.

Today is David's 35th birthday. And he's working, poor guy. But we are going out to eat tomorrow to celebrate. Geez, I can't believe I'm married to a 35 year old. (I bet he can't believe he's married to a 30 year old!) Honestly, David doesn't appear 35, or act it. Or maybe it just seems that way to me since I met him when he was about 25.
David and I joke that we are old people now. It sure feels like it, but maybe it has something to do with us both having full time jobs and two young boys. Maybe.
I can't imagine my life without my wonderful spouse and I hope I get to keep him for at least another 10 years.
Happy Birthday, David Dreyer. Muah!

What the heck was that!?

Late yesterday evening ,after I had put the boys to bed, I was sitting at the kitchen table when I began to experience horrible upper abdomen pain. I thought maybe it was just awful gas pain or something. But it got worse and worse over a few minutes and I went to go lie down. It still got worse and worse-it felt as if a tight band was around my upper abdomen and pulling tighter and tighter and tighter! It was killing my back, but I couldn't figure out which hurt worse my front or my back. I was bent over my bed with one arm bracing my back and the other bracing my front wondering if my esophagus was strangulating or if I had some perforation in my stomach somewhere. In any case I started to think that maybe I should seek medical assistance in case I was having a ruptured aneurism or something. (Um, I'm serious here, it was that bad! I assure you that too much knowledge could be a bad thing in my case.)
I started to put my shoes on to go to the ER and wait for David to get home, I was hunched over standing in the middle of the driveway trying not to hperventilate from panic. The pain was increasingly intense, It reminded me of labor contractions. But the contraction got stuck, and it was in my upper abdomen.
Anyway, very soon after David arrived, it went away completely leaving only a little soreness in my right upper back ( I still feel it very, very slightly) It almost feels slightly bruised inside my back.
David told me to rest in bed and I went to sleep early.
What happened to me? Maybe I will never know, but it apparently resolved itself within about 15 minutes, thank God.
Gallstones? Pancrease or stomach inflammation? Aliens attacking me from the inside? God smiting me for something?
I just hope it doesn't happen again.

Chef David

David is apparently doing excellently at his job. His bosses are very impressed with his performance and are really taking a liking to him. Supposedly they will be expanding the restaurant before too long and David may be promoted to prepping food for the head chef. David actually seems to be enjoying this job as well. He always cooks dinner at home and he's quite good at it. I certainly can't complain!

What a beachin' day!

We finally took the boys to experience the beach and we all ( surprisingly enough) had a grand time. We visited the serene aqua water and white sandy beach of Englewood ( the water at our local beach is rather brown and the sand is slimy and sludgy, blegh) The water was cold as heck so we didn't swim much but Sean waded in the water a bit. He liked to pick up shells and they rinse them off in the surf, drop it, and grab another. Seth played in the sand a bit but enjoyed the playground more. Of course. Though, to see how much stuff we had packed into our car you would have thought we were planning to live on the beach for awhile. We really did have alot of fun.
Yesterday we visited the Frontier days festival at the park and had a lovely time. I am ashamed to admit I had forgotted the sunblock, so Sean and I got a little sun-mostly me. Seth doesn't burn, lucky kid...
So between yesterday and today my skin is a beautiful pink color. Not too pleasant.

Seth loves They might be Giants

He absolutely cannot get enough of their "Here come the 1,2,3s" DVD. And when he's not watching the DVD he wants to play the CD in his room while he sings along and dances. Even Sean starts to dance a bit.
Seth says, " Mommy, sing along and dance with me." I told him I don't know the words. He compromised my insisting that I just dance, " Just put your leg up like this" (he kicks forward) " And them like this" ( he kicks to the side)
Oh, simply as that ,huh? I didn't do it, that would require way too much effort.
Super cute DVD though with cute animation and muppets,and catchy little tunes. I love it. I like the song"7" (We want cake, We want cake!):)
Hee hee, I feel old now that I saw them in concert 15 years ago! Back when they were a regular old quirky alternative band.

We changed Sean's convertable crib into the toddler bed since he was outgrowing it. He hasn't figured out how to sleep normally yet. He still sleeps with his head at the foot of the bed or crosswise on the bed. And now he can climb out by himself he likes to come wake us up at the crack of dawn! Yay, we don't need a rooster, we have a Sean. ( note the sarcasm) I'm thinking about switching it back to a crib. ha ha.

Oddly enough, At the Dr. appt. today, Sean is now below average in height and weight. He was above a few months ago. To me he still seems big, but maybe that's because Seth is small. He slowed down alot when he was having the problems with the ear infections in January. He's reaching all of the other milestones, but I wish he'd talk more. I'm not big on this whole," I'll point to what I want and you give it to me thing" I appreciate verbal communication. So far all he says is:
1. Da ( it's isn't even da da anymore, he's shortened it)
2. Meh meh (that's me)
3. baba ( I'm thirsty)
4. Bye! ( he does this and throws kisses, they just go together)
That's it besides the fact that he can point , wave, and give high fives. That's gotta count for something, right?

He had to be a big shot, didn't he..

I using the term big in a literal sense here. Meaning large. Because that is what Sean is. Everytime I check him in the crib he has his legs sticking out of the railing somewhere, and just to look at him in the crib he takes up all the space. The poor kid is outgrowing the darned thing. Today at the mall playground playing and there was a nother kid his same age that was not nearly as advanced as him(I think the other kid was way behind actually) and the poor kid looked small compared to him. Now Sean is not fat or chubby even, but just big. He's wearing Seth's hand-me-downs from last year already. Pretty soon they will be wearing the same size!
He does communicate what he wants in *"Amberese" by making a sound and pointing to what he wants rather than actually talking. Eh, Seth talks enough for both of them.
Tomorrow we are going to go to Sarasota Jungle Gardens. Hopefully we have a nice time.

* Amberese: a nonverbal way of communicating named after the most well-known Amberese user, my neice, Amber. She understands all but refuses to speak on a regular basis preferring to communicate by sounds and gestures.

Sean is determined to break the cute-o-meter.

It wasn't enough that he woke up so happy as always, but as we drove away from the house to go to Mamaw's, he said"bye!" and did his best attempt to blow a kiss at David. Then at Mamaw's he was so smiley and silly and toddling everywhere, which in itself is a pretty adorable sight. Then at Mom's he kissed my new Webkins frog and waved and said "bye" again to everybody when we left. It's always so neat when he does something new.
Seth has cuteness mastered by now, he knows how to entertain and work a crowd to get what he wants. I think Sean is learning alot from his older brother.

You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind...

David and I used to listen to this song when we were first together. The song was almost 20 years old at that time!But we loved it. Oh, the memories.

I'm feeling a bit retro tonight..

Whoo hooo! Got the tax return and I also happen to be on vacation from work for the first time in a year! I actually have six days off..in a row!So the boys and I are going to have alot of fun.
Ahhh, life is good.
I love the 80s hairdos on the guys in this video.:)

This is so cute!

I had no idea They Might Be Giants did kids stuff now. I so have to get this DVD for the boys. :)

Zoloft-my love and hate relationship

I have been on this stuff since just before Sean was born, I've even had my dosage increased to 100mg every day( which I do believe is a little higher than average doseage, I think average Zoloft users are on 50mg.)
And to think the world thought I was just a naturally happy gal...
Anyway, I love the stuff. I am better at dealing with stress and normal life situations without crying, yelling, or having anxiety attacks. Yes, I am one that is prone to anxiety, I bet that is such a surprise (ha ha, note the sarcasm). I wasn't taking it for depression as much as general anxiety disorder, something I have been suffering with for much of my life. But I have been njoying the antidepressant effects anyway. I feel so happy and content about life( see previous blog entry)
I was running low on my medication earlier in the week and decided to take it every other day to make it last longer, simply because I was putting off reordering it.
The point of my blog entry is simply a reminder to myself and others, that was truly a very poor decision.
I am suffering from withdrawal now because the medication level in my blood has dropped causing me to feel extraordinarily crappy. I have night sweats, strange dreams, irritability and anxiety, fatigue, and an overwhelming feeling that I just can't wake up all the way. My brain is sluggish.
Oh, do I feel miserable.

Oddly enough in my strange dreams last night I noticed that showing and washing my hair were extremely prevalent. I couldn't even estimate how many times I did that during the night. So obviously, as soon as I got up I had to... shower and wash my hair. Maybe my dream was telling me I am unclean...or just a little crazy.

I'm suffering from optimism

The only good thing about being super duper extremely dirt poor in the last year is that about all of the taxes that we (I) paid in, we get back! Oh, it is so rare that being low income pays off.
We will be able to pay off a few debts and I can look forward to less creditors calling me about wanting $$ every day! Yippee.
I do believe that things are looking up. Am I jinxing myself by saying that? I feel good about things. I have happy kids and a wonderful , hardworking spouse....okay, I'll stop there. You are probably suffering from sudden and extreme nausea about now.
Oh, and I am cashing in some of my PTO (paid time off) time that I haven't used, about 40 hours worth so maybe we can take seth to Sea World before it gets too extremely hot out. I'm hoping Shamu will agree to adopt him. Ha ha just kidding, of course. I think he would get along better with the sea lions.

"I'm crying because I'm crabby!"

That's what Seth stated when I put him to bed and asked why he was crying. He's adorable, sometimes.;)

Yesterday was Sean's 1st birthday party at my mom's house. All the regulars were there, you know: Mom and Jack, Fonda, Jason and Amber, Dad, Sue, only Mamaw and David were missing since they were working.
There was enough food for a good army and we all had a grand time. Oh, birthdays- always a wonderful excuse to get together and eat. Nothing says "I love you" like food in my family!

Happy birthday to Sean!

I can't believe he's one already!!!The party is on Saturday at my mom's.
Where does the time go?

Sean, the anti-vegetarian

Good God, my son is a little piggy. I cut some meat off of the ribs that would be perfect for little fingers to pick up and eat. Was that good enough? Of course not. He had to grab the whole stinking rib and stuff it into his mouth like some starving orphan. As you can probably tell from this picture, he is certainly not a light weight.

Oh, and the small plate in front of us was originally piled up with macaroni and cheese which he had already finished off prior to indulging in the ribs.

Oh, and he is officially toddling these days. Every day he walks farther and farther. I clap my hands and say "yay!" and he gets very smiley and tries to clap but he dosen't seem to coordinate the both hands together to actually clap. Eh, he tries. I love him.

On a sad note, one of the patients I have been taking care of for years was dying today and by now may be gone. I said goodbye today but I still feel sad. God bless Ben.

Actually, I like some people...

“I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people...that's why I don't like any of them.”

Roseanne said this on an old episode of"roseanne" I thought it was so funny. It reminded me of the days when my mom and Gina started the "I hate people club" ( Oh, by the way, Ma, David has joined as well)

How do you solve a problem like Seth?

He'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
He could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
He is gentle! He is wild! He's a riddle! He's a child!
He's a headache! He's an angel! He's a boy!
How do you solve a problem like Seth?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Seth?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

"The Sound of Music" fans might recognize these words, I merely substituted "he" for "she" and changed "Maria" for "Seth" but it describes very well how I feel about my boy today.
He will not listen, he talks back. He runs away in public places, he hits his brother. This kid is very intelligent but super stubborn. And David and I are at a loss as to what to do. We yell, we swat his bottom, we send him to his room. We withhold things he likes and tell him we will reward him if he's good. Nothing seems to work. David had to really spank him tonight and he didn't laugh this time. I hate to be a mean parent-maybe that's why he's gotten this bad. I hope he grows out of it. Bleh.

Seth is a ladies man

Today my dad had a cookout at his house and Seth sat down at the table between my brother's girlfriend, Heather, and her sister, Stephanie, and asked them each " Are you my girlfriend?" Then he proclaimed that they were both his girlfriends. He had already asked Heather on Valentine's day. He is quite interested in her because she is "so pretty". Whatever will I do with this kid?

Heather did babysit for us on Valentine's day so that David could take me to the restaurant he works at for dinner. Excellent food and excellent service. And it didn't hurt that we got a complimentary shrimp appetizer and $30 knocked off of the bill since he works there! The filet mignon that I ordered was lovely. Oh, did I add that the shrimp appetizer only contained two shrimp? Don't cry for me though since I think they must have caught those shrimp off the coast of Chernobyl. They were the largest mutant shrimp I had ever seen!

Yesterday I took the boys to the Ringling museum of art in Sarasota- I felt it was about time to introduce them to some culture. I brought my friend Tammy, and I am so glad I did since my boys are quite the handful! Seth enjoyed the paintings for all of five seconds and them didn't want to look at them any more. The place is beautifully landscaped and is on alot of acreage so ,fortunately, there was alot of area for Seth to run around. And for Sean to crawl around-oh, and there was plenty of grass and mulch for Sean to try to eat. Lovely.
So much for cultured kids, they'd both rather play in dirt.

There was plenty of dirt in my dad's backyard today. We all had a grand time at the cookout. Everyone (even the adults) behaved, eh, for the most part... with the exception of Seth but that was only towards the end. I don't know what to do with that kid. I've been thinking again of selling him to the gypsies if he doesn't straighten up.

A bag of Texas?

Today Seth tried to pick up Sean and stated that he felt like a "bag of peanuts". I replied "a bag of peanuts?" To which apparently he changed his mind and decided that his brother was more like a "bag of Texas".Which I thought was strange because I thought it would be pretty difficult to put Texas in a bag- but hey, whatever.
Today I saw Sean playing with a toy car and making "'room 'room" sounds. Yesterday I could've sworn he said chicken. He also "sings" in the bathtub by making "doo doo doo" sounds like he singing a song he doesn't know the words to.
But he won't say " ma ma". What's up with that?
And I think he will be walking pretty soon. Just what I need two boys running around. At least with Sean crawling I'm at an advantage- though not too much of one since he is extremely proficient at the crawling business. That boy can move!

David is at work tonight and I am beginning to despise the quiet after the boys go to bed. I never thought I would feel this way but it's rather lonely when they are sleeping and David is working late. I am all alone.:(

I am enjoying David's job though. He seems to like his job and his co workers and I get to appreciate the cooking tips and recipes that he gets from the chefs that he works with. I am really lucky to have a man that cooks for me, and is so darned good at it! I really think he missed his calling when he went into the flooring business. He should have gone to culinary school.

Only if you are famous..

Are you hospitalized for " exhaustion". Many times I would love a couple days to recoup from my busy life so I can feel healthy and refreshed again. But normal people can't be hospitalized for " exhaustion". I mean you never go to work and hear the conversation," Hey, where's Joe?.Haven't seen him lately?"
" Oh, I heard he's in the hospital-exhaustion, ya' know. He has been working alot of extra shifts lately."
"Too bad, I 've gotta send him some flowers or something. You know, my cousin was hospitalized for that last month-she's got six kids and an alcoholic husband. Good thing she got some treatment for her exhaustion"

I saw a progress note from one of my patients today where he described to his physician that he felt "like a wet dishrag"
I think that is a lovely description. Very descriptive without being at all specific. Does that make sense?
Sometimes I feel like a wet dishrag. Sometimes I feel like I could sleep for days!
I am so happy with everything right now but I am just feeling so run down and tired. Is this simply because I am a mother of two small boys that works full time and in her "spare time" cleans up the house and tries to keep the bills paid?
Or am I simply suffering from " exhaustion"?

I wish kisses cured every hurt.

Isn't this baby cute? I love baby laughter.:)

I didn't know he could do that!

We took a family trip to Target tonight where I purchased a new outfit for Seth: a beige pair of shorts and a green shirt with a bunch of pictures of bugs in jars on the front with the caption "My personal bug collection" or something. I picked it out without Seth present but apparently he loved the outfit because he was about ready to put the shirt on before we left the store!
After I put on his PJs he asked me to put it on for him- I said no it's bedtime- and left it on his dresser for him to wear (weather permitting) tomorrow.
Fast forward to 9PM suddenly we hear noise in his room, David goes to check on him only to discover that Seth had removed his PJs and put on his new outfit! He had the T-shirt backward but the pants were on correctly. He even had placed his PJs in a pile where the outfit was originally located.
Now, I knew the kid could undress himself but I didn't know he was capable of dressing himself!
No clue, nobody knew.I'm still baffled.
I couldn't be mad at him for not going to sleep because he was so cute. I asked if he liked his shirt. He replied," Yes, I LIKE bugs!"
I'd bet he could use the potty if he really wanted to.
This kid is no box of rocks-as Seth says," I'm not a box of rocks, I'm Seth!":)

I'm reliving my youth tonight...

This is a song by the New radicals called "you get what you give"
It was popular in the late '90s while I was living with my grandmother after leaving my ex boyfriend. I was working as a CNA while attending nursing school. I also first met David around that time.
Those days were also extremely stressful and I happened to be battling some depression issues at the time. This particular song is so upbeat and positive and I really appreciated it. It just made me feel happy. It's amazing how a good song can be so therapeutic.

Sean's first ear infection..

The R side of his face and ear have been super-duper sensitive in the last couple days and he's been slightly crabby as well. And his appetite has been that of a normal child-for shame! Okay, he's also had some very, very stinky nasty poo lately.
Put 'em all together and what have you got?
Ear infection!
David took him to the Dr. today where our diagnosis was confirmed. We caught it at a good time since it was just starting. Dr. was very impressed that he hasn't had an ear infection until now. Apparently babes usually get their first one within the first couple months of life.
I was well aware that my kids where abnormal from the get-go. Heck, I am still waiting for Seth to get his first ear infection-so far, so good. (knock on wood)
So now he will get his first round of antibiotics in his life.
My poor little guy.

Seth, my right hand man.

Today I was hurrying to put on a little makeup so I could take David to work and, of course, since I am mother hen my little chickens all followed me to the bathroom, which doesn't make any hurried task any easier. Trust me on that one.
Sean, again, found the temptation to play in the toilet water to be far too great and began to lift up the toilet lid. I was in such a hurry I have to admit it wasn't my greatest concern at that moment, the toilet was flushed and all....
Just then Seth pulls him away from the toilet and sits up on the closed lid and says down to him ," You can't play in the toilet!"
I have trained him well.

Yes, I most certainly do windows

I will never understand how one adult and two small boys can create the disaster area that I frequently find in my house after work.
Of course I don't expect the rest of the world to have OCD issues with cleanliness- but I cannot figure it out.
I may have to put them all up in a tent in the back yard at this rate, where the three of them can live in pig sty harmony. No joke, I found a plate under the couch today. And I usually find pajamas all over the place. You'd think the tops and bottoms would be in a similar location,right? No, I always find them in different rooms. Oh, and toys, toys, TOYS!!! Everywhere toys. Toys int the kitchen and toys in the porch. Toys in the garage and toys in the bathroom. Toys in my bed and toys under the bed. Oh, good gracious there are so many.
Little fingerprints on the TV and the glass doors and on every mirror in the house. I have even found little fingerprints in locations that I didn't even know Seth could reach. Right now there are little finger smudges on the computer screen. I only clean them once a week now since I feel like it's a bit of a waste of time, after all, there will be more fingerprints in the same places tomorrow.
And why does my 3 year old insist on removing all the pillows from my bed and bringing them to his room? I have to rescue my pillows on a daily basis. And I make my bed so many times in a regular day that I think I should be eligible for the Guinness book of world records somewhere. Seth loves to unmake beds, he thinks it great fun. Me, not so much.
And Sean is banished from bathrooms. He has the most delightful time splashing in the toilet. Not only is it a very unsanitary habit, but a very messy one as well. No matter how many times I say,"no!" he always wants to splash. I guess the temptation is too great.
He even tries if I am sitting on the toilet, he tries to get his little hands into the toilet behind me. I say it's time for this kid to get a hobby.
Finally the house is quiet and relatively neat. But tomorrow all the fun will begin again....

"We're giggle kids!"

That was Seth's cute statement for the day yesterday. Him and Sean ( Sean and Him?) were playing on Seth's bed and wrestling each other and playing roughly, which always makes me nervous, but the both of them were cracking up laughing! They were having the most delightful time attempting to bury each other with pillows and blankets. And Seth made this cute statement about "Giggle Kids". And they certainly were.
What a couple of nuts. I can't imagine where they get their silliness from....

Unfortunately, my head hurt so severely that I could hardly enjoy their fun. I just wanted to lie on the floor of Seth's room and close my eyes.
I took two Ultram and then half a Tylenol#3 and David massaged my temple and my head still hurt. At 0100 I ate a bowl of cereal and took the other half of the Tylenol#3 and it just helped me fall asleep. When I woke up, my head was still pounding.
I took two Excedrin Migraine and my headache was GONE! Screw all those prescription pain killers.
Obviously, I couldn't take the Excedrin at bedtime because it includes caffeine as an ingredient and no way was I going to sit up all night, no matter how great my head felt.

In any case I am better and pain free now. I seem to have a problem with these terrible, awful headaches. It's the worst pain ever-except for dental pain.
Now labor was no walk at the park, I assure you. But that didn't last as long as my headaches do.

I am so old. I never thought I would look so forward to going to bed. It's 2130 and I am ready to get cozy in the luxurious softness of my bed and bask in the rare treat that silence has become in my house. Ahhhh...

"Move that horrible baby!"

Little Sean happened to be sitting on a pillow that Seth was attempting to relocate when he yelled this to me. I couldn't help but laugh.

We went to the mall today. En route, Seth was imagining things in the cloud formations. Most of them looked like dinosaurs-or so he thought. One did look like rocket ship. He also thought Weezer's the sweater song was a hoot ( my words, not his) because they talked about being naked and lying on the floor in different part of the song and both of those things "are so silly"(his words ,not mine)
Then at the mall I let him play on the playground where he promptly found himself a girlfriend. He even introduced me to her as that," Mom, this is my girlfriend" They were holding hands and hugging. Whoa, kids start way too early these days.
She appeared to be a little older than him and maybe was a bit Native American looking. Very cute little girl. At least he has good taste, I guess.
Sean says alot of"bababa" and other similar vowel-consonant babbling but no mama.:( David even thought he heard him say "banana" But no mama. C'mon! The kid will talk about food but not his beloved mother? Well, at least I know what is more important to him...;)

I assure you that a day with these two is never, ever boring. I definitely feel that they are the best two things that have ever happened to me. Especially when Seth picks a flower in the yard and brings it to me or tells me how "boo-tiful" I am. :)

Perplexing dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?
Ever have a dream so strange that you can't get it out of your head? I am hoping by documenting my odd dream that it won't remain in my head for me to ponder any longer.
First of all, I dreamt that I discovered that David had an identical twin brother he didn't want me to know about for some reason. Weird. but that wasn't the strangest part.
In my dream, David was a soldier fighting in a war located on some island somewhere. He was away fighting and I was in our house with my mother, father and my son, Sean. Oddly, Seth wasn't in my dream.
The fighting was getting closer to the house and the enemy was throwing these small red colored balls into the house that would explode so we had to get out of the house and run away seeking safety. We found many neigbors who were doing the same thing. We were hiding and the bad guys were getting closer. My dad decided to create a distraction to the enemy so that my neigbors, my mom , Sean and I could get away. So he did. He ran right into the crowd and promptly was caught and killed in a very brutal manner but we got away. He had given his life to save us.
We then found ourselves running into a forest and these people were running at us throwing very, very hot food. Hot dogs to be exact. We were all barefoot for some reson and I stumbled and fell because I stepped on the burning hot dog. I was trampled and killed at this point. But the dream did not end there.
Suddenly I was floating and I realized I was a child again dressed in a pure white dress. I was floating up and up and I was watching below at my mom and Sean very thankful that she was holding him and that they were alright. I knew the future somehow and was aware that they would survive the fighting and also that Sean would grow to adulthood. I also knew what he would look like fully grown.
I also noticed a boy near me and he was dressed in white as well and was floating up,too. It was my dad, but he was a child also. I only recognized him from his childhood pictures!
It was a bittersweet feeling I experienced in the dream. Not all sad actually.

Now isn't that a strange dream? It was the weirdest dream I have had in many years by a long shot.

Seth's Christmas performance.

Yes, my boys seem to love to entertain others. They most ceratinly did not get it from me. I would have spent the first ten years of my life hiding in a room somewhere reading a book if it was up to me. I'm not quite sure if I was (am) simply shy and insecure or just antisocial (both?).
But enough about me.
Both boys seemed to have a blast on Christmas at my mother's house. Sean likes to raise his arms above his head and see how many other people he can get to follow suit. Everyone usually does it and he smiles and laughs. I am sure he's just laughing at everyone else thinking," What a bunch of fools!, It doesn't take much to excite this bunch!" But it sure is cute.
My mother made a mega phone of sorts out of some tape and cardboard so Seth had to sing a song through it. He sang "Yankee Doodle" and when he finished and everyone clapped he turned to everyone and stated," Thank you everybody! Thank you everybody!" and threw kisses at the crowd.
He then completed his performance by asking everyone," Do you wanna rock?!"
I have no clue where he gets this stuff.

Goodbye Buff

She left the world today after 21 loooong years. So it really was a Merry Christmas for her. In cat years she had to have been about 120 years or something. She had been dying for quite a while so it really was for the best, but I can't help feeling a little touch of sadness since she had been in our family for so long. In the last 21 years our family has changed so much; divorce, marriage, births, etc. But she was always there, somewhere.
Honestly, I wasn't her biggest fan.
When I was a kid it drove me nuts when she would bat at my feet while I was trying to fall asleep. Or try to eat my food if I left it on the table unattended for a few minutes. But at the same time it was kinda cute when she would hide under my ex-boyfriend's broken down car on rainy days when she lived with me for a time after I had graduated from high school. You would look under the car and just see the light reflecting off of her eyes while she was staring back at you. She would also tolerate my young son poking at her and petting her years later.

All of the family was there and helped to dig her final resting spot in my Mom's front lawn. They already had the box ready, so they wrapped her in a little blanket and placed her little skinny body on a pillow and sealed the box shut. That was it.
I like to think she lived a very full and eventful life and that she is happy now.
Goodbye Buff.

I got what I wanted for Christmas :)

Oh happy day, David got the job!
It's a fine dining restaurant in Punta Gorda called "The Perfect Caper". Apparently, you can easily drop about $100 per person for a meal there-but you get a 6 course meal all made from scratch by professional chefs. David will be doing prep cook work. It's very fast paced and there isn't room for sloppiness so it's going to be quite trying but I hope it works out. I am very proud of him. He's going to be working 40+ hours- AND watching the boys! Wow! It's going to be hard, but even if he just keeps it up for a couple months it will help us get caught up.
I still don't think me and the boys are going to be dropping by for a bite though...

I can't believe Christmas is upon us already. I am cookied out. For the year and next year. Seriously. Why do people insist on giving cookies to others on Christmas. I really could go for some veggies and dip or some cheese cubes or something.
I'm not worried about my weight-I am blessed with two very active little boys and a full time job that keeps me very busy and burning calories constantly. But I really have had enough junk food. I could just as easily say "no, I don't want your damned cookies!", right? but I can't do it! I have to at least try the stupid cookie.
Is it only 9 PM? It sure feels like 11PM. I am so old.

Oh Christmas Plea, Oh Christmas Plea

Please, please let David get hired for this job!
David interviewed for a job at a local fine dining restaurant today and right now everything is looking pretty good. The only catch was that he would have to work day shifts on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I am off every other Tuesday but always work Wednesdays so I had to talk to my mom about watching the boys on those days. Thank goodness she is able to help out so he can get this job. Hopefully.
I am very, very tired from working excessively and trying my hardest to be happy for the holidays. There are way too many grumps out there this time of year, and I will NOT let them suck me into their misery. Nope, no way, not this year. I will be happy if it kills me, dammit! LOL.
Seriously, I guess it could always be worse. I could be all alone on the holiday. Instead I have more than enough people to spend Christmas with. Shoot, I couldn't get rid of them if I tried. Not that I would try. Well, I might appreciate a lonely quiet day here and there, I'll be honest.:)

If I do not write again before December 25th...

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!

What I want for Christmas...

Is to have all of my bills paid up to right now. What a relief that would be to have all of our credit cards, medical bills, and miscellaneous bills paid off. I have started not even opening certain bills because I can't pay them anyway.
As you can tell I am feeling a little blah today. I am tired. Tired of working and working and working and still barely making ends meet. Tired of David not having a job( he's tired of that,too) Tired of all of the phone calls from creditors. Tired of all of the threatening letters from companys' attorneys. Tired of not seeing my boys for a couple days at a time since I am doing double shifts. Tired of not being able to buy any Christmas presents for the boys. Just plain tired.
My therapist told me I need to find a positive thing about everything negative but sometimes it's quite difficult.
1. We are all healthy-thank goodness for that!
2. I have a job- I was not ( and will not) be affected by any recessions or lay offs. I will always have a job.
3. My boys are cute and happy as can be- that's gotta count for something.
4. David is a good house husband and daddy.

There. Four positive things about my life.

a special Elf dance for my sister...

Enjoy, Fonda!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1317107702

By special request...

A new improved version of the soon to be famous Elf Yourself dancers..

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1314714229

Fa la la la and stuff

Today we got a Christmas tree, a lovely and sappy frasier fir. Seth, I think, was more thrilled about it than any of us. He was so very eager to decorate the tree, so we would give him one ornament at a time for him to hang up and after a few ornaments we checked his placement and noticed that he had hung them all on the same branch. So we have a bare tree with four ornaments hanging off of a bottom branch. Eh, so he's not going to be a professional Christmas decorator( if there is even such thing).

So we helped him out- but then he would remove the ornaments and place them all on one branch again.

But you should have seen us at Home Depot when we got the tree: we got one of the race car shopping carts so we could fit both boys in it. It has a place at the back where two kids can sit and there is a little steering wheel for each kid to play with.

Both boys loved it. David and I were traying to find excuses to look at more things in the store since the boys were enjoying it so much. We got alot of "Awww, that's so cute" from other customers.

What can I say, my boys just have cuteness oozing out of them. Boogie noses and all.

Hey, I try my best to wipe their noses a thousand times a day but they keep running and running. Poor guys.

Even more pics...

Some random photos of the boys...

David's going to hate me for this...

But I think it's pretty darned funny. Have a laugh on me..

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1249498963

John Lennon Watching The Wheels

Now that George Harrison memorial week is over I will beging John Lennon memorial week.
John was shot and died on Dec. 8,1980. 27 years ago-I was about 3 years old.
Anyway I had a difficult time trying to decide which John Lennon song to choose since I like so many.This one has alot of old movies of John and his son, Sean. Wasn't Sean a cutie? RIP John

Ugh! The "Crud" has taken over the Dreyer house.

We are all quite sick and miserable. Trust me, it is not at all pleasant to wipe noses as much as I have done in the last two days. And the poor kids' noses are sore and they hate it anyway-but I won't let them run around with snotty noses.
Sean's appetite has been affected, but only very slightly-instead of being hungry all day he's is hungry only most of it. And Seth is hardly eating anything at all. God help him, I don't know how that boy continues to exist. He certainly doesn't act or look like a kid that eats as little as he does. maybe he got tired of fighting Sean for food, ha ha.
The "crud" is what someone at work named this cold. It isn't horrible but it just makes you feel cruddy for a few days. Stuffy nose, sore throat, cough and hoarseness seem to be major symptoms. It's Sean's first cold and he's actually being quite a trooper about it. Seth on the other hand wanted to go to the doctor as soon as he developed a sore throat. He couldn't quite understand that he has to simply wait for it to run it's course. He the started to make up excuses why he needed to go to the doctor, " Mom, my teeth are broken" or even " My arm is broken".
Seth has been whiny and cranky for days now. I was about ready to sell him to gypsies today but decided that I have invested far too much money in him in the last three years to send him off now. Might as well keep him around-he is awfully cute and all. People say that he looks like me.:)
It's always something in this house. I heard a song today that had some lovely advice in it: "Breathe, just breathe"
I will.

Disclaimer: please read before proceeding.

Do you ever people watch at the mall and think to yourself ," What was she thinking?!" when you see the very large woman with the spandex pants on. Or the little old lady with the purple tinted hair. Or the woman that brings her kid to the grocery store in merely a diaper.
Yes, we all judge others, it' simply human nature. Everyone does it. My friend, Marva, always notices people shoes and the condition of their feet. When she's around you'd better hope you don't have any scaly dry skin on your heel and any fungally toe nails when you wear your sandals!
But she would never tell the person to their face that they have ugly feet. Just like you wouldn't ever tell the large woman that her spandex pants look horrible or the purple hair is not cute on an elderly lady. At least I hope not!
Because not any person I have met is without fault or some type of dysfunction in their life so, really, it's not your job ( or mine) to make decisions about other adult people lives. Spandex pants are a very obvious thing but many, many more people have more hidden issues that are not as obvious but, nonetheless, just as judgeable ( is that even a word?).
My life has many faults and I never claimed to be perfect, actually from what I know of many people close to me , I am not all that different from most people. Most people, no matter how "normal" they seem have some family or personal dysfunction in their life.
I do not have secrets. I don't mind sharing my innermost thoughts with anyone who reads this. Maybe it makes someone feel better about their life to know my problems. Maybe it helps someone realize that they are not alone in feeling a little sad or angry at times. Emotions aren't anything to be ashamed of.
I hope my story will have a happy ending in the long run but every life has many uphill struggles in order to get there. I am still enduring my struggle but all things must pass, eventually.
Please, just please, don't insist on telling me all of the problems with my life. I know already. If I didn't ask for any advice, I don't need it.
Thank you and please continue to visit my blog. I appreciate your concern.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

November 29 will be 6 years since George Harrison died so I am posting this song in trubute. One of the most beautiful songs ever.:)
RIP George

Band Camp 2007 Seether

I found this video of a Seether song recorded on Friday night . It was recorded probably on someone's phone, and certainly is not my favorite Seether song, but nevertheless-I was there and I saw them while this person was recording this. Enjoy! Wish you could have been there!

Bandcamp 2007!!!!!!

Friday night David and I were kid free but very, very cold. We attended the second "Bandcamp" concert put on by a local radio station. When a concert comes to this lame ol' town we certainly don't want to miss out so we made sure to be there!
Heather got to our house around 4:30PM or so and off we went- we arrived just before Drowning Pool came on. Eh, I guess they were okay-but I enjoyed Finger Eleven and Seether. Both bands were really great and we had alot of fun watching them play. David especially enjoyed Seether. We saw a little of Breaking Benjamin but weren't too impressed, so we left.
It was freaking cold anyway! By that time my feet were numb and my fingers wanted to fall off. I guess I am not cut out for frigid temperatures!
Then I worked 16 hours on Saturday and Sunday and 8 today so it's merely an understatement to say I am worn out!
Besides, do you realize what a horrible feeling it is not to see your kids for two days?! I left while they were asleep and got home after they went to bed.
I missed them so much, it breaks a mother's heart to miss her kids like I did. It makes me sad to work so much but I have to do it.
David did wonderfully, he kept them alive all by himself and he even made sure the house was realatively clean and laundry was done. :)

Monsters are everywhere!

I presume that would be the title of the song that Seth made up today because he kept singing it over and over. It was actually a cute song. He got out his little guitar and pretended like he was playing it as he sang. And danced.
Then he buit a "creepy house" out of pillows and a comforter in which he claimed a "creepy witch" lived in. Then he got out all of his muppets and claimed that they were all of his friends and they lived in the creepy house with him and the witch.
Seth doesn't lack imagination-that's for sure.
Sean on the other hand- is apparently starving. Or you might think so to see this kid eat. He chows down food like it is going out of style. But he's not fat, just big! If I put three Fruit Loops in front of him he will immediately cram them all in his mouth at once and start banging on his highchair tray for more food.
At the same time Seth is on a hunger strike, it seems. I guess that the money that I save on Seth's food is evened out by the massive amounts of food that my mutant second son consumes.
I think that Sean can crawl about as fast as Seth can run. I wish that I had an ounce of the energy that these kids have.
They look like little angels when they sleep- but I know better.;)

Anxiety and the chiropractor

No, I don't have anxiety about the chiropractor. I simply feel that the chiropractor visits are easing the tension and pain in my neck and shoulders that has been caused by many years of anxiety. I can't imagine what may have contibuted to that...
I had myself adjusted again today and I really feel a difference! My shoulders and neck feel normal for once! Many times over the years different massage therapists have attempted to knead out the mnay knots in my shoulders without success, so it's nice to finally have some results.
The problem is that as soon as my muscles and bones feel good again I get all anxious about something and become tense again. So I have scheduled an appointment with the psychiatrist to discuss some new options for dealing with my massive anxiety.
Yep, I am a nut. I have known this for many years but my mind doesn't seem to work the same as "normal" people's do. Out of seemingly nowhere I will develop an anxiety attack-shortness of breath, chest tightness, feeling of dread in my stomach, sometimes lightheadedness if I began to hyperventilate. Fortunately this does not happen often. But lately it seems like it's more frequent.
Could it be because David is out of a job? Maybe because bills are always piling up and creditors call every day? Maybe because I am trying to work many hours and take care of my boys also when I am home?
Maybe..just maybe, all of the above.
I am sure many people around me simply laugh off my odd behaviors since most of the time I try to be very pleasant. I love to make people laugh. I love to laugh, but sometimes I can't quite pull it off.
The Zoloft is very effective but I think the Lexapro would be better at dealing with my anxiety. Zoloft is more for depression, I believe. I also would like some anxiety medication I can take on an "as needed" basis such as Xanax or Ativan or something. I really, really, hate the way it feels when I am so anxious.
Ha ha, the psychiatrist's receptionist has been the same since I first went to him almost 10 years ago so he always remembers me. As I was making my appointment he asked how the baby was. I suppose it's sad when the employees at the psych office know you that well. I guess that it helps that David goes there too to get medicine for his anxiety issues. ( No, they are not caused by me-they have been there for many years)
I how I wish I was normal. I hope my boys are, unfortunately I don't think their chances of being mentally stable throughout their life is looking very optimistic. Darned genetics..

Def Leppard - Hysteria

Today I am reliving my young days as an obsessive rock fan and I thought I would share a slice of those days. This video is circa 1988 and I still think Def Leppard's "Hysteria" is one of the best albums ever made. Seems like so very long ago....

The amazing tale of Jennifer and the chiropractor

My neck has been so sore for three days now. Let me tell you that it is a pain in the butt(or neck, ha ha) to back out of a parking spot with a stiff neck. My body doesn't twist enough to compensate for the loss of movement in my neck, I assure you.
David scheduled an appointment for me to see the chiropractor. He figured that I needed to be adjusted a little.
At the office I was sent to sit in a tiny room with a little stool in one corner, a table with some equipment in the another and in the center was an odd, mechanical table that was turned up on end. Quite an intimidating table I have to admit. The Dr. came in and asked me to stand while he checked my neck and back and then had me step onto ( into?) the table face forward while he lowered the table into a horizontal postion. He then told me a girl was going to come put some therapy on me.
First, she put a four little stickers on my upper back and hooked it to the TENS unit. Kinda looked like she was setting up to do an EKG on my back if you ask me.
Then she turned the thing on creating this odd, slightly annoying tingling sensation all around my shoulders and upper back. I really found it irritating to be honest. I was glad when it was through. She then put all of this conduction gel on my upper back and did an ultrasound which felt very nice. Like a cool massage. Then she got out this industrial strength massager that she ran over my entire body. I really liked that.
The next part was where the Dr. came in and cracked my neck and back. I didn't like that so much. A bit scary and a little painful. He sure talked an awful lot, I was afraid he wouldn't be paying enough attention and paralyze me or something. Or break my neck, even.
Then he massaged my neck a little.
All that must have done the trick because I have to say that I feel so much better. My muscles feel much looser and even though I still have some achiness left it's not nearly as much as it was.
ahhhhh...I love a happy ending!

Oh did I mention I got a new stove? This week hasn't been all bad I suppose. :)

This is the reason why everybody needs a sister.

My next paycheck has three days of overtime pay on it so I felt like I deserved a little something to make myself feel better. I thought maybe I would have some cool highlights done in my hair.
So I called my sister to ask who her hairdresser is and explained why. She proceeded to list all of my redeeming qualities and why I shouldn't have to have my hair done to feel good about myself.
She's very sweet. Sometimes it takes someone outside looking in to see what is right under your nose.
I am sure I could have worded that much better but Sean likes to play this game called " Let's see how loud I can scream". I don't really like this game.

What's wrong with me anymore?

At times I feel like I am not part of the world. It's as if I am merely observing it going on all around me. I simply go through the motions and do what I have to.
I am so, so tired and my stomach feels nervous, like I am awaiting my turn to make a presentation in front of a large group of people. Only it's much of the day. Alot of the time I don't feel very hungry. I simply pick at my food because I know I have to consume something in order to exist.
Today I felt like taking a shower required an excessive amount of effort, I didn't want to go throught he trouble. ( But don't worry, I made myself do it anyway. If only for the comfort of my coworkers and patients)
I don't even have the energy to be mad at David anymore. No sense in beating a dead horse anyway. What's done is done, right? ( What a dumb expression-who would beat a dead horse? eww) I try not to let my irritation fester beacuse it doesn't help anything. I need to forgive and forget. But I can't help but feel so disappointed in him. So very disappointed.
I know only time will heal this and I am being ridiculous to let the whole job situation eat at me but I feel as if he let me down. I got him that job and he got himself fired. Maybe that's why I am taking this so personally.
If he really respected me he would have behaved himself and not gotten fired. That's not fair, I know. He does respect me. I think.
I feel like I want to take some time and just be alone. Just a day, maybe, to collect my thoughts and get it all together. I think I would like some extra sleep as well. That certainly wouldn't hurt.
I apologive for the depressing mood of this blog. It simply reflects my feelings right now. Perhaps when I awaken in the morning I will feel refreshed to an extent. I certainly can hope.

Seth's first trip to the hospital

Seth and I went to Toys R Us yesterday where he decided that he wanted to live. When it was time to go he became very upset and was trying to run away from me while I was holding his hand. Then he cried all of the way home and then when we dressed him in his PJS and while he was in bed he continued crying.
Finally I went in there and he explained that he couldn't move his right arm. And it hurt with any movement.
To the ER we went. :(
He was diagnosed with Nursemaid's elbow- or elbow dislocation- that was simply repaired by the Dr. popping it back in to place. Seth was such a good boy. I was proud.
He's good as new now.

I guess the drama will end now.

David was fired. But fortunately, the 16 year old was fired as well. I am not too pleased and it is an understatement to say I am disappointed in him. I am wavering between anger and sadness and anger again.

Oooooooh, 16 year olds make me livid!!

I guess I should be more specific since I am certain there are many good, decent 16 year olds out there.
Remember the girl that was in love with David? Last night at work he was out in the parking lot in the car with a beer. All of the work was done and he was waiting to clock out. This girl comes out and sits in the car all upset over something. David left her in the car alone while he went in to do something and apparently she drank some of the beer, unbeknownst to him.
Well, once her father picked her up he must have smelled alcohol on her and she told him that David gave her a beer so the father called the nursing home administrator to complain that he was going to have David arrested for contributing to a minor. So David will likely lose his job. If not get arrested.
Now there are several lessons to be learned here and I have already discussed them with David
1. Never ever drink on the job. Technically David wasn't clocked out yet so he shouldn't have doing that anyway. But alcohol has this hold on David and I married him knowing that.
2. Listen to your wife, she's might just be right. I advised David not to speak to this girl anymore since I thought it would just lead to trouble. I took her as a crazy 16 year old girl that could not be trusted. David said she was his friend. Unfortunately I was right.
3. Don't think that because someone is your friend that they won't turn on you. that's exactly what she did and now David is in a mess because of her.

If David loses his job, who cares? It's a low paying job and he could get another. Now I know he will never talk to her again. Last night she was talking about suicide and David was concerned. Now he said he could care less what she does. I don't feel bad for her in the least. I just wish David was a bit wiser at choosing friends.

Seth, a boy of many names.

This kid has quite the imagination, today he was running around announcing that he was Bob the builder, "I will fix it!" he yelled. For some odd reason he had insisted on wearing these elbow length red gloves that I had from an old Halloween costume. Does Bob the builder wear gloves? Anyway, it was cute. He was fixing our walls. I don't seem to notice a difference but I suppose the thought is what counts. :)
Later on in the evening he announced he was a beaver. I simply don't know where that came from.
Other days he's a robot, or superman, a cat, a dog, even a baby. It's quite difficult to keep track of who he is throughout a day.

Sean has three teeth now and is almost "cruising" the furniture. Thank goodness he finally figured out how to get down from a standing position without falling on his head. Now he puts his hands down so he falls into a crawling position. He can sort of sit but he just doesn't remain in one place long enough to sit for any length of time. He is the happiest baby I have ever known. He loves to laugh, but so does Seth.
Anytime Seth hears anyone laugh he asks, "What's so funny?"
I always tell him" You're funny!" and he laughs. He'll probably develop a complex one day but we'll worry about tthat when the time comes.

Meanwhile, David and I work excessively. Him at home and me at work. I picked up another shift on Sunday so that will be a total of 24 hours of overtime. My next paycheck should be nice. But I am exhausted. I feel like I need more sleep- even when I first wake up. No one ever said life was easy!

Saosin - You're Not Alone Video

I just saw this video today and I like it.

48 hours

48 hours is how many hours I worked in the last 4 days. 32 of them being on Saturday and Sunday. Yes, I agree, double shifts are exhausting-but the paycheck sure is nice. It really is sad not to see my boys for two whole days though. I feel like a piss poor mom, but at the same time maybe I am a good mom because I work so hard to make sure they have a roof over their head and food to eat?
Some days I feel as if I live at my work. Good thing I don't mind my job.
David thinks I am writing about him in my blog so I am going to prove him right.
How can people get so worked up over football? He yells at the TV when his team screws up and claps and cheers when they score. Each time it scares the crap out of me because I don't know when he will begin to yell. I want to say. "It's a stinkin' game, for Pete's sake!" but I am sure he is aware of that so I will hold my tongue until football season is over.
Does "football season" mean I can go hunting and killing footballs because, trust me, I will!

Seth's "scary movie"

I discovered this band on Perez Hilton's site and actually find it quite catchy. It's an Australian band called "Operator Please" and Seth likes to watch the video over and over referring to it as a "scary movie". It's really not too bad a song for a bunch of teenagers.

Please, please buy my husbands hunk of crap.....

It's littering my lawn! David's truck is far too expensive for us to maintain. It needs a little work and we just can't keep up with it-David's is a little ,um, mechanically challenged. Besides the gas mileage is terrible.
So he has placed it in the newspaper to sell so that we can hopefully unload the thing and but my friend Tammy's Honda Civic so David wouldn't be stranded at home every day.
So far, not one call.
We are a little sad.
If you are in need, please give me a call. It's big and roomy and is 4x4. So that has to count for something, right? Unfortunately we can't afford to give the thing away so you'll have to pay the couple grand we spent to buy it in the first place. The money is going to a good cause, think of it that way.

Double, double, toil and trouble.

Is that how the line is supposed to read? Forgive me if I am incorrect but Shakespeare simply bores me to tears..
I did my double shift yesterday and what a long, long day it was. It wasn't helped by the fact that I felt as if someone was playing drums from inside my skull. I foolishly took something for the excruciating pain in the middle of the night on an empty stomach- dumb idea. I spent much of the morning very nauseated and more than once had to quickly and rudely walk away from my patient so I could go throw up. Ew, what a horrible morning. I did end up feeling better and was able to take an Excedrin Migrane that someone had given me that did the trick. Thank God! I spent the rest of the shift feeling like a brand new woman! I think the caffeine in it helped pep me up as well. I definitely appreciated that side effect.
Now I have agreed to work two doubles this weekend so I will be very, very busy and most certainly will be hating my existence on Monday morning as I head off to work my 5th shift in 3 days.
But the paycheck will be nice and I might as well get the hours while I can.

Many days I feel awfully sorry for myself because I work so hard and never seem to have enough $$. Will Sean and Seth resent me some day because I was working so much? I know first hand that absence makes one's heart fonder beacuse I miss them so much when I am at work. I hope they will understand one day.

Hot water: good, cold water: bad

We had a new hot water heater installed. And we had a plumber friend do it so it was much cheaper than it should have been. Hallelujah, especially since we barely had the money for the cheap price.
Now if only Calgon could take me away to a nice hot, bubble bath with some candles.....
The boys are extra cranky today. Actually the patients at work were a little extra crazy today so maybe there is a weird moon phase going on.
Maybe the whole world has gone nuts.
In any case- a super big thank you to Anthony for installing the hot water heater. There are good people in the world. :)

Unpopular Mechanics

Yesterday David's truck broke down on the way to work. Marva took me to work so he could have the car for Seth's Dr. appt. When we pulled up at the house this afternoon, I found it odd that a hose was draining water from my garage while David threw various wet objects onto the driveway.
Yep, the hot water heater died. We knew it would happen one of these days. Now we have to find a way to purchase and install a new one for as cheap as possible.
Either that or I could continue to have David boil water for our baths like he did this evening. Ha ha, I felt like we were a poor farm family 100 years ago.
I don't enjoy these bumps in the road.
Seth and I bonded over doing some cleaning and painting in our wet, messy garage. He was a mess-still has some paint in his hair actually.
You know, as frustrating as this past year has been, one day when I am old and tired and lonely, I will miss these days of my life. Empty bank account and all!

Seth's appointment went well. He is in the 25% for everything-he's just a small kid. But he's developing normally and they were very impressed at how well spoken he was. Apparently he made the comment that he wanted to see the Dr. because he was sick *cough, cough*
Yes, he actually did fake coughs.
He was very brave when they checked his hemoglobin- the results, of course, were normal.
All is well.

If at first you don't succeed, Try, try again.

Sean personifies this lovely quote. Not in a way that comforts me though.
He wants to stand so badly and he pulls up on anything anywhere in order to do it. Unfortunately, he falls down alot. Much of the time he falls backward and bonks his noggin.
I hope this child has a full head of hair throughout his life because I feel like his head will be very dented at this rate. Nothing so sad as a dented child. So far he just has some bruises.
I figure if all boys were seriously mentally damaged from the amount of bumps and falls and blows to the head they receive then all men would be running around with a few marbles missing upstairs if you know what I mean.
Actually this theory might explain quite alot.

I was driving yesterday when some person slammed on their brakes in front of me causing me to stop quickly- I was probably following too closely, knowing myself. All of the sudden Mr. driving expert Seth yells out ,"Hey what's that all about!"
The backseat driving begins early ,I guess.

"Is it any wonder" by Keane

Is the name of my new MySpace profile song.
And I do believe that Seth loves it almost as much as he loved David's punky rendition of "Margaritaville".
Anytime I play it Seth goes nuts, dancing and bopping his little head all around. Yes, he has about as much rhythm as a little white Irish boy- but he couldn't help that. He had about a 50/50 chance of has some rhythm. Maybe there is still a chance.
http://www.myspace.com/jjdreyer

Bad Ju Ju

Originally I thought David called her "Bad Choo Choo". I wondered why he was referring to the "16 year old" as a bad train.
In any case, she is a dangerous sort, I think. Apparently the fact that he's a married 34 year-old guy with two small children doesn't seem to phase her. Even the fact that I work at the same facility as she does.
She must be a complete idiot because even when I was 16( long, long ago) I knew better than to mess with married men. Besides, I didn't want an older guy with kids anyway-too much baggage.
But she's developed a crush on David. He's quite flattered but also a bit disturbed. It's making him feel uncomfortable to go to work when he knows she'll be there. He knows she could get him in trouble.
I hate to use the "j" word but perhaps that is what drove me to talk to his supervisor about it. Her behavior is absolutely not conducive to a professional work environment. Harmless flirting is one thing but I think she has gone beyond that into potentially harmful territory. I think this girl needs to put the brakes on this crush she calls love and start talking with guys her own age that aren't married to me.

I finally got my pics developed- take 2...

I finally got my pics developed...

He'll stand but he won't sit?

Only my child would be so backwards. Sean refuses to sit. Of course, If he's sitting supported by something he will do it. But he can't (won't) sit solo unsupported. But he's getting closer and closer to true crawling every day. He's quite proficient at the army crawl though.
Sean has to be involved in everything. So while Seth was bathing, Sean scooted up to the tub and lifted himself on his knees so he could peek over the edge. Apparently that wasn't good enough because he was able to pull up to a standing postion as he tried to put his hand in the water. He didn't stand for an excessive length of time but he did it again a couple times so it wasn't an isolation incident.
At least if he won't sit he'll be able to stand wherever he goes. Might make it difficult for him to drive though. And lets hope he doesn't break a leg one day. They don't make wheel chairs that accomodate the standing postion, he'd have to travel by stretcher.
Eh, maybe he'll get the hang of it eventually.

A doughnut with paint on it?!

Seth and I had bagel and cream cheese at dinner tonight. It's never a dull meal when he's around, I assure you! First off, while I was toasting the bagel he was singing to Sean, " a bagel, a bagel, a bagel!" Of course, Sean found this very hilarious.
Then while Seth was eating the bagel he decided that it looked like " a doughnut with paint on it".
After their baths they played in Sean's room and I thought they were cute enough to photograph for all eternity. It didn't work out like I expected. Of course, they were both very smiley when they saw the camera but not for the typical reasons. Seth wanted to take the camera so he could "click" pictures of Sean and Sean simply wanted to consume the camera. I had to photograph them from a standing postion so they couldn't get my camera.

Just another day iin my life. Pretty soon I will hop into bed and sleep a little so I can get up and take care of people all day again. At least I get paid for the first eight hours. But the boys are far more delightful than the cranky elderly people at work. But enough about my coworkers.
Speaking of cranky elderly people, David just got home from work. :) Seriously, I love him.

Why is Saturday night alright for fighting?

Because I rather like Saturday. I'd rather not fight. Today was a good one, as far as days go.
I had a good time with my boys. We were all in good moods so the day was quite pleasant. Usually someone is cranky-probably me- so it ruins the general happiness throughout the house. Seth was a good boy all day. Honestly, he did not do one thing to try to destroy the house in any way today. He played well with Sean ( They are so cute together!) and he even played happily alone while I cleaned a little bit and did laundry.
When Sean awoke from his afternoon nap Seth made sure to bring it to my attention. I told him I would get him in a couple minutes-it sounded like Sean was playing contentedly so I thought I would let him be for a few.
Seth insisted that he wanted to go in and play peek-a-boo with Sean. I told him to go ahead. So he goes in while I waited in the bedroom. Throught he monitor it sounded like they were playing happily. When I went in I saw that Seth had climbed into the crib with Sean and they were playing together. I told Seth to get out but couldn't help but smile as I said it.
It was too cute.

Yardwork-Dreyer style take 2 ( or My son is a cow)

I dragged the boys out to weed the yard again. I set Sean out on a blanket with some toys while Seth and I weeded. Sean didn't stay on the blanket long, he wanted to eat the grass and seemed to enjoy mouthfuls of dirt. I guess it's a good thing I don't use pesticides on my lawn. No one in their right mind could accuse me of that( Have you SEEN my lawn?)
Inside the house he scoots himself toward the cat food bowl quite frequently. Why-oh-why does he want to eat cat food so badly? If I remember correctly, and it's possible that I am incorrect, Seth preferred to roll the cat food pieces across the floor rather than eat them.
My kids are strange.

Today Seth, Sean and I were playing in Seth's room when we heard some sirens. Seth immediately got all excited and I was able to pick him up just in time to see the fire truck and ambulance go by on the street behind our house. An hour later we see THREE state troopers across the street -they remained there for hours! According to our next door neighbor, the guy across the street got into a domestic dispute with his wife or girlfriend and he got into his big blue SUV to leave and she got in front of the truck...I think you know where this is going. He ran her over. Apparently they had to land a helicopter in the local church parking lot so they could fly her out to a trauma center. I'm guessing Tampa.
Unfortunately we had no clue that the fire truck and ambulance were right across the street from us after they went by the rear of our house. Seth would have liked to see the fire truck up close. But at the same time I wouldn't want him to have seen the lady since I am sure she was badly bloodied and all.
I guess my putting my hand through a window isn't half as bad as running over your spouse and mother to your children. Yikes, I don't feel as bad now.

I love Dayquil

I did a double Friday and then on Monday. Fortunately I had the weekend in between off because I had a nasty cold. It sucked big time, but I was determined not to call off so I wouldn't lose my overtime. Physically I did not feel too poorly. I just had a slight cough and a snotty nose.
Saturday was David and I's 6th anniversary. I know,I know..why would anyone put up with me for 6 long years. I have no clue. He must be a glutton for punishment. In any case, I appreciate him sticking around. He's really awesome and I have it made. He makes dinner in the evening, watches the boys in the day and even washes the dishes and makes the beds while I am working.
I love him.
Heather came over to watch the boys while we went to Visani to eat. We had a lovely meal and then watched a comedy show. I have seen funnier comedians, but I also was feeling lousy that day so that may have affected my sense of humor somewhat. In my present state of health, perhaps it would have been funnier.
Sunday we went to a barbecue at my dad's house. My whole family was there and we had a great time. My dad seemed to really enjoy little Sean. I kept offering to take him but Dad was managing fine with him. Sean was quite happy and content with good ol' grandpa. They even rocked together for awhile and the little guy fell asleep sitting on Dad's lap. It was so cute, I only wish I had a camera to get a picture of the two of them.
I stopped at the pharmacy with the boys and didn't realize until I got home that I didn't get the "non-drowsy" cold medicine so my brother and his girlfriend were kind enough to bring me some so I didn't have to drag the boys to the store again. they were sinply too much the first time. Note to self- when shopping for cold medicine,next time go solo.

David and I dyed our hair last night and mine came out awful! I don't know if the highlights I had done in may were especially resistant to the hair dye or what but my hair is a couple different colors, and not in a cool looking way. Next week I will get more hair dye and try again. David's looks good. It's like a dark auburn color. Mine is a nice red near the roots but many of the highlighted streaks didn't even take so I still have alot of blond. Bleh.